TUESDAY DECEMBER 12, 2017
 
INSIDE TORO
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Looks like one (very, very long) hit wonder, Jeanne Beker, has nothing to smile about. Today, after 27 years on air, Bell Media has suspended production of Fashion Television.

Earlier, the saddened fashionista tweeted: “So surreal. This dream is over: After 27 glorious years, FT production ceased today.”

Really, Jeanne? The “intelligent fashion” show (ahem, no such thing) lasted for almost 3 decades and now you're all discombobulated.

You know what’s "surreal," Ms. Beker. I’ll tell you what: The fact that I’m arguing with a tweet.

R.I.P. or whatever.

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Republican candidate Rick Santorum has removed himself from the anus of presidential politics, to begin his slow drip back onto the senate floor.

The controversial politician declared an intention to “suspend” his campaign today, following a weekend of “prayer and thought.” Prayer for Mitt Romney’s commanding lead in the polls to just kind of vanish? Prayer for the American liberal media to give up and move to France? God could not be reached for comment.

This effectively clears the way for a Romney vs. Obama election showdown that thankfully won’t involve questioning if humans domesticated dinosaurs or whether we should build a giant island prison for gay people. I may be exaggerating Santorum’s beliefs ... but probably not.

“Hooray!” - Earth

Related: We count down our favourite political fuck-ups

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Ladies, I feel your pain when it comes to Alec Baldwin. No matter how puffy or angry the newly engaged 30 Rock star gets, you cannot help but swoon when you think of his voice, eyebrows and chest hair.

When I go to get a chest haircut I often ask for “The Alec” and my coiffeuse always knows what I mean. But as usual I digress.

What I'm trying to say is – just because you like his chest hair, do not become obsessed with Alec Baldwin! Even if he initially hangs out with you, you could still wind up being a stalker.

Just look at Genevieve Sabourin, a “French Canadian Hottie” - that's what the blogosphere is calling her – who was arrested for harassing Baldwin outside of his home. She also sent him some wacky text messages that indicate some unhinged-ness on her part.

Alec does admit to taking her out for dinner but says the relationship was 'strictly professional'. But what if he's professional at sex? Then he may have had sex with her. Excuse me as I now press charges against every crazy person I've ever dated.

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In roughly two years time, global peat-mongers Ardbeg will launch a product that is simply extraordinary.

No, really.

Today, Ardbeg sent a sample of their unmatured malt, or “make-spirit,” into orbit, about 240 miles above the earth, to see what would happen to the spirit if matured at zero gravity.

Before the liquid of the gods was launched slightly closer to heaven, the young whiskey was combined with charred oak particles to mimic the oak barrels traditionally used in the maturation process.

No one knows what to expect from the results of this exciting experiment. Except one thing’s pretty much guaranteed – big-time import fees. (wa wa)

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[html]Moonface, the 148th side project from onetime Wolf Parade co-frontman Spencer Krug, have a new album dropping April 17. It’s called Heartbreaking Bravery, and is a full collaboration with Finnish group Siinai. True to Krug’s overly colourful lyricism, the album shines like a diamond playing a trumpet on Neptune. Or something.

Below is a new clip for album track “Teary Eyes and Bloody Lips,” Full album is streaming now at AV Club.





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The show Community is riding high, thanks to a petition that bodes well for its fourth season and recent ratings that have exceeded expectations. Cast member Chevy Chase's rift with the show and creator Dan Harmon seemed like an April Fool's Day prank at first, but with the star's reputation as being difficult on set and an audio tape of an angry voicemail from Chevy, it seems like it's true.

Chevy's anger stems from Harmon humiliating Chase in front of his family by instigating a 'f*ck you Chevy' chant – and Harmon's need to make that chant stemmed from Chase walking off set before filming crucial scenes at the end of the show's third season. Whew. That's a lot of exposition.

Most recently, Harmon issued an apology of sorts – the audio that leaked was from a live show he did where he played Chase's angry message, and he apologized for making the voicemail public. He didn't even go so far as to name Chase in his apology, so maybe there's still acrimony.

I suggest he get revenge by cutting the Pierce character from all episodes of the show, past, present and future and by replacing Chevy with me. 

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TORO checked in at Toronto Danforth construction site of The WORKS Gourmet Burger Bistro, opening this May, 2012. The Toronto menu will be customized by naming the burgers after local landmarks and neighbourhoods, as well as burgers named by Toronto celebrities including eTalk host, Ben Mulroney; Kenny Hotz, Toronto Argonauts and Stefan Brogren of the acclaimed Degrassi television series.

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In what surely qualifies as the most tragic celebrity story of the ... last hour, or so, Calgary resident Robert Wilkinson has found himself splattered with attention from every angle after a video of him singing Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” while intoxicated in a police cruiser went viral last month.

The video, viewable below, has created a flurry of media attention for the 29-year-old professional idiot. “I can’t take this overload, stuff that I can’t handle – messages, requests for interviews and everything,” he recently told Canoe News.

If off-key caterwauling inspired by a tray of Jello shooters leads to interview offers from, according to Wilkinson, CNN and The Daily Mail, I’d say you’ve taken a right turn onto Easy Street, but who knows what opportunities will befall this liquored-up Liberace?

Wilkinson’s statements do create pause, however, so we may imagine the hard-hitting questions those professional journalists at CNN are getting ready to ask him. “Will you please get help for your serious dependancy problem?” would be my opener.





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[html]Montreal indie folk-rock trio Plants and Animals have recently released a video for “The End of That,” title track from their third album. The band is cast as guest performers on some sort of musical variety show while frontman Warren Spicer does his best impression of a crooner. Enjoy:




The End of That is Available now via Secret City.

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Welcome to 2012, where every pop culture property shall be remade as a sequel to a prequel. So news of a television series based around Hellraiser (1987) doesn’t seem all that surprising, even though a serialized narrative based around an albino demon with pins stuck in his head who menaces idiots with his magic puzzle cube doesn’t exactly scream “TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!”

Stewart Till, CEO of Hellraiser rights holder Sonar Entertainment (who also own the rights to Laurel and Hardy – why not resequelboot that one?) spoke of the company’s vision:

“The gap between an O.K. show and a great show is getting bigger and bigger and our obsession going forward will be to find high quality shows that people really want. If you look at our slate, you'll see shows that have either a great brand name like 'King Tut' or Hellraiser that arrive with a recognition, a build-in [sic] marketing platform.”

Obsession! With finding high quality shows! Eat those apples and like them, HBO. You may have a team of talented writers and directors trying to create original stories and characters but you are not OBSESSED. Also, King Tut is apparently a brand name now? That somebody owns? Could this be the next big cable hit?

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[html]This week on the TORO Playlist check out new vids from pop-rap’s reigning king B.O.B., English emotive rock buzz band Dry the River, a double hit from La Sera and more!

B.O.B. - “So Good” (From Strange Clouds, out May 1)



Dry the River - “New Ceremony” (From Shallow Bed, out April 17) 





La Sera - “Real Boy / Drive On” (From Sees the Light, out now) 







Ceremony - Album Release Show (For Zoo, out now)





Frankie Rose - “Night Swim” (From Interstellar, out now)





Sleep Party People - “A Dark God Heart” (From We Were Drifting On a Sad Song, out April 10)





Julia Stone - “It’s All Okay” (From By the Horns, out May 29)

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Basketball tricksters Dude Perfect have a miracle or two up their sleeve, like say landing a shot from the Goodyear Blimp! Not much to say on this matter other than that the Harlem Globetrotters are screwed.

Check it out.

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Here's a few of our, ahem, top picks for everybody's favourite holiday: National Cleavage Day. Season's beamings!

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People have been gripped this past week by the sad story of Trayvon Martin, the young Floridian killed by overzealous neighbourhood watchman George Michael Zimmerman, with many prominent folk in the Twitterverse voicing disgust at the initial lack of criminal charges against Zimmerman, and mocking Geraldo Rivera’s attempted defense of the killing.

In case you missed it, Geraldo said hoodies make people think of robbers, so young people shouldn’t wear them. But moustaches make me think of child molesters, so should Geraldo shave?

And should Geraldo be placed on a sex offender registry if he doesn’t? Surely he should.

On the other side, Spike Lee retweeted what was alleged to be Zimmerman’s home address over Twitter, but it was the wrong address. A couple in their seventies by the name of the Mclains live there. They are now being inundated with way too many Die Hard jokes.  

On the Geraldo front, it should be mentioned that he has apologized. Which is good, except that it was a sarcastic apology. I’m more interested in his moustache apologizing to children.

www.twitter.com/theflans

Video DAILY TORO
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TORO caught up with Youth Lagoon at the Hotel Vegan party at SXSW 2012 to capture this performance of "Posters."

Catch Youth Lagoon live at Lee's Palace in Toronto Saturday, March 31.

Related: Watch Youth Lagoon perform "Afternoon" live at SXSW 2012.

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American rockers Tenacious D, a.k.a. Jack Black and Kyle Gass, are finally making their  return to the music scene. The D will drop their third album Rize of the Fenix May 15 before embarking on a three month tour.  To tide fans over and to poke fun at their comeback they've released a video for "To Be the Best," featuring Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl, Val Kilmer getting shot, jailbreak, giant eagles and more shenanigans in a form only the D can deliver.

Listen to Tenacious D's latest single "Rize of the Fenix"

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We at TORO are big fans of Swedish singer Kristian Matsson, better known as The Tallest Man On Earth. His ongoing plan to make some of the best folk songs of his generation will continue with the release of album no. 3, There’s No Leaving Now, on June 12 via Dead Oceans.

There’s No Leaving Now:



1. To Just Grow Away
2. Revelation Blues
3. Leading Me Now
4. 1904
5. Bright Lanterns
6. There's No Leaving Now            
7. Wind and Walls
8. Little Brother
9. Criminals
10. On Every Page 



Live dates:

May 31 + June 1 - Stockholm (Sodra Teatern)
June 20 - NYC (Town Hall)  
July 3 - London (Hackney Empire)
July 4 - Amsterdam (Paradiso)                  
July 6 - Berlin (Lido)                          
July 29 - Newport, RI (Newport Folk Festival)
August 17 - Hasselt, Belgium (Pukkelpop)

“Love is All” video (From The Wild Hunt, 2010):





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CroweJavert.jpgNo, this isn’t a still from some lost episode of Extras. Russell Crowe really is playing Inspector Javert (against Hugh Jackman’s Jean Valjean - a.k.a. Monsieur Bathrobe) in Tom Hooper’s Les Misérables alongside a bunch of people who also aren’t French. It’s pretty easy to not be French, lots of people aren’t French. But Crowe is pretty much the antithesis of French. So this movie will be hilarious. 



Cool story: I once saw Les Misérables on Broadway and at the moment where Gavroche is supposed to throw a bag over the big wall to help the revolutionaries the kid playing Gavorche totally GOOFED IT and threw too low. So the revolutionaries didn’t get their bag, and the rest of the story made no sense. I hope they fired that kid. Movie opens December 14. [via Entertainment Weekly]

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For Bob Barker, the “price” of transporting elephants from Toronto to California “is right”. That's the first time Price Is Right wordplay has been used when discussing the show's former host, right?

Alas, I guess it's time I face the fact that I'm about as original as Toronto street names, most of which are named after places in the UK.

Similar to the UK, Toronto's zoo provides a painful environment for elephants, and animal rights supporter Barker sympathizes with the pachyderm - $800,000 worth of sympathy.

That's the cost of moving three huge grey memory machines from Ontario to California. We all know the elephant in the room is the repeated accusations of Bob Barker sexually harassing Price Is Right spokes models, but after this, three elephants will at the very least be in a more comfortable room.

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[html]If anyone offers to carve your unique features into a tiny plastic block, I say turn them down. It probably won’t go well.

That said, below we can see some fairly accurate reproductions of The Hunger Games characters. Maybe they could’ve spruced up Gale Hawthorne’s clothes so it didn’t look like he was riding the bus or something, but a good effort:

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At the same time why do The Hunger Games action figures even exist?! I was about eight years old when I said goodbye to my Ninja Turtles, but I don’t recall the episode wherein Raphael stabbed Michelangelo repeatedly then snapped Leonardo's neck and tortured Splinter to death with a hive of wasps. Just a few delights from The Hunger Games that children should not be recreating in the basement possibly with a Buzz Lightyear doll thrown in for the hell of it. That’s how crazy is made!

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