SATURDAY MAY 27, 2017
 
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The 2012 London Olympics has become a race for third place, and Korea (the friendly one) couldn’t be happier. The Asian country has overtaken France with six gold medals, all of them coming in Archery, Fencing, Judo and Shooting. Looks like someone’s preparing for an invasion.

China and the United States continue their war atop the leaderboard. The former’s athlete-farm model seems to have paid off, as their supremacy reaches across pretty much every event. The United States total is more lopsided, as 18 of their 30 medals have come in Swimming.

Meanwhile, Canada keeps trucking along at decent pace. Yesterday we won another silver in Rowing, and another bronze in Swimming. And this morning, our Women's 8 rowed to our second silver. We have yet to win gold, though. If Canada were to win one today, we could potentially leapfrog nine countries. Let’s hope our competition got as wasted as Bradley Wigging last night.

1. The People’s Republic of China: 17 Gold, 9 Silver, 4 Bronze. Total: 30

2. The United States of America: 13 Gold, 8 Silver, 9 Bronze. Total: 30

3. Republic of Korea: 6 Gold, 2 Silver, 4 Bronze. Total: 12

24. Canada: 2 Silver, 5 Bronze. Total: 7

Related >> London 2012: Daily TORO Top 3

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Every 10 years Sight & Sound magazine conducts a poll to determine the greatest movies ever made. It’s fun! And pointless. But fun! For critics, directors and your everyday movie geeks it’s become the default choice for these kinds of surveys, for reasons that are never very clear.

The top 10's for 2012 have been revealed, and here you go:

Critics:

10. 8 1/2
09. The Passion of Joan of Arc
08. Man with a Movie Camera
07. The Searchers
06. 2001: A Space Odyssey
05. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans
04. La Règle du jeu / Rules of the Game
03. Tokyo Story
02. Citizen Kane
01. Vertigo

Directors:

10. Bicycle Thieves
09. Mirror
07. Vertigo / The Godfather (tied)
06. Apocalypse Now
05. Taxi Driver
04. 8 1/2
02. Citizen Kane / 2001: A Space Odyssey (tied)
01. Tokyo Story

The big news: Citizen Kane’s run of being voted the top movie of all time by people who don’t like Star Wars as much as everyone else is now OVER. Welcome to the top, Vertigo and / or Tokyo Story! Like the other movies here, you are good movies! Maybe not the best movies, but oh well!

Read the Top 50 w/ Commentary

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[html]Am I alone in thinking Paranormal Activity 3 was the best of the series? In all fairness, I didn’t see part two nor do I remember much of anything about part one, so really I have no idea what I’m basing that on. And come to think of it, the ending made no sense. Not in a “Whoa, that came out of nowhere!” kind of way, more like “Whoa, that was clearly pulled from someone's butt!” kind of way.

But if we demand too much logic from our cheap-o haunted house movies then the poltergeists win. So hopes are high-ish for Paranormal Activity 4, again directed by part three‘s dream team of Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman. A full trailer is viewable below, movie hits theaters October 19.



Related: TORO Interviews Joost and Schulman

In Other News: There Will Now Be Three Hobbit Movies

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Gore Vidal — novelist, essayist, journalist, playwright, screenwriter, actor, politician, public intellectual and soldier of truth — has died.

Vidal passed away in his Hollywood Hills home at around 6.45 p.m. on July 31 from complications with pneumonia. He was 86 years old.

Known for his commanding wit, ferocious political criticism and overt sexuality, Vidal is widely considered one of America’s greatest literary talents.

Vidal embodied an age when writers were not only celebrities, but also popular vehicles through which society relied to ignite its essential dialogues. While his prose was beautiful, Vidal’s work was defined by courage — conviction in the face of sexual, aesthetic and intellectual prejudice.

His voice now gone, Vidal leaves the world only his work, itself an immense harvest from which we may be inspired and educated. He will be missed.

Blog DAILY TORO
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Every day, until the closing ceremonies, TORO presents the Top 3 stories of the 2012 London Olympics.

BRONZE: Team GB Wins Gold, Relieves Post-Colonial Stress

Take that arsenic away from your mouth and replace it with a fresh pint of stout: Team GB has finally won Gold. This morning, rowers Helen Glover and Heather Stanning became the first Brits to win a competition in London. And a couple hours later, Tour de France winner Bradley Wiggins won Gold in the cycling time trials.

Until today, Team GB had been putting up disappointing numbers, badly trailing European rivals France and Germany, while also lagging behind “lesser” competition like Korea and Kazakhstan.

Britain must be feeling pretty good right now. While it has no chance of catching China or the United States (two former minions that long ago surpassed their colonial master) Britain can at least take pleasure in pounding the rest of its fallen Empire into submission. Take that, Gambia!

SILVER: 8 Badminton Players Disqualified for Half-Assing It

Eight female Badminton players have been disqualified for apparently trying to throw their matches in an attempt to secure easier competition in the knockout round.

Two teams from Korea, one from Indonesia, and another from China — the reigning world champions — now face immense criticism from both the paying fans in London, and their fellow athletes.

These women have brought immense shame to their countries and tarnished the sanctity of international sport in general. And now the world is left asking itself the obvious question: Who the hell watches Badminton anyway?

GOLD: Man with No Legs Set to Kick Ass

Only at the Olympics could the inspirational story of a runner with no legs cause an uproar not seen since Fleetwood Mac ran out of cocaine while recording Rumours. On Saturday, South African Oscar Pistorius will compete in the Men’s 400m and some people aren’t happy about it.

“If the [prosthetics] don’t have the same biomechanics as a human leg, and if they aren’t simulating exactly how the other full-bodied runners have to run, then…[Pistorius] is running a different race,” says Angela Schneider, a sports ethicist at the University of Western Ontario.

The controversy is understandable as Pistorius — born without fibulas and raised to walk on prosthetics — has been treated differently from his fellow runners. The effects of his artificial legs on his performance are not fully known and Pistorius was invited to London despite not meeting South Africa’s qualification standards.

Still, the son of a bitch has no legs! And God knows you’ll all be watching him run, ethics be damned.

Related >> Oscar Pistorius: A Leg Up?

Related >> Medal Count: Canada Out of the Bronze Age

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[html] It's been over a year since Vancouver's Hey Ocean dropped by the TORO Garage for a performance.  Since then they've released their BIG BLUE WAVE EP and recently dropped a new full length titled IS.  Their latest video for "Islands" below is not to be missed.

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Canada has left the Bronze Age by winning a silver medal this morning in Men's Eight Rowing. That brings Canada's medal total to five, only two behind the host nation. And we haven't even gotten to the Federalism events!

The two superpowers of China and the United States continue their domination in London, with the former recently winning the Riot Control events, and the latter using LeBron James in every single sport at the Games.

France remains in third in the medal count, but expect an all-out assault from fourth-place rivals Germany. Many IOC members thought it odd when the German Olympic Sports Confederation decided to name their London 2012 medal campaign Operation Lebensraum, but Germans claim the name has no symbolic meaning. One anonymous German official recently told TORO, "the French spirit will fall in a matter of days, and then Paris, I mean, the podium, will be Germany's!"

1. The People's Republic of China: 13 Gold, 6 Silver, 4 Bronze. Total: 23

2. The United States of America: 10 Gold, 8 Silver, 7 Bronze. Total: 25

3. France: 4 Gold, 3 Silver, 4 Bronze. Total: 11

24. Canada: 1 Silver, 4 Bronze. Total: 5

Related >> London 2012: Daily TORO Top 3

Related >> Dream Team or Olympic Nightmare?

Blog TIFF 12
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TIFF's Midnight Madness is more than a festival within a festival — it’s a raging cult of degenerate cinephiles that cheer when a face explodes and laugh when a father beats his son to death.

So we’re pleased to tell you that TIFF has announced its Midnight Madness lineup! This year features lots of big names, so expect the requisite amount of terror, mutilation, sex, and schlock. Below we profile three films we’re really excited about.

John Dies at the End

Directed by nutbar-genius Don Coscarelli (Bubba Ho-Tep), this film tells the tale of a college dropout named John who must save the world when a new drug called Soy Sauce starts turning its users into alien monsters. The trailer is terrifying and hilarious, like Go Karting on acid, or getting tickled by Nick Nolte. Does the title give away too much? Maybe that’s the point.

The Lords of Salem

When Rob Zombie started directing films we shook our heads so hard that our noses started to bleed. But then he made some horror movies that were actually pretty good. Now Zombie comes to TIFF with The Lords of Salem, a movie about a record that when played, induces flashbacks of the Salem witch trials. Not sold? We’ve got one word for you: Dragula!

Seven Psychopaths

This movie has Christopher Walken in it. Need we say more? Fine. Directed by Martin McDonagh (In Bruges), this film is about a screenwriter played by Colin Farrell who gets in trouble with the mob when his two friends accidently steal a gangster’s Shih Tzu. The film also stars Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, and Tom Waits. As long as Walken has a monologue and someone dies, we’ll be happy.

Related: TIFF Announces Its 2012 Gala Lineup

Related: Nikki Beach and the Spoke Club Collide at TIFF

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News flash: Sex sells. And come Olympic time in the internet publishing world, that means sexy pictures of sexy Olympic athletes. Lots and lots of them.

Fortunately, the Summer Games feature water sports (not those kind) so that's an obvious place to start but women's field hockey has suddenly generated plenty of interest thanks to the Dutch Olympic team.

Hm, but how to do sexy without being so overt? If only there was a way...

Our hands-down winner? "Decoding beach volleyball signals" — this is educational, done right.




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Every day, until the closing ceremonies, TORO presents the Top 3 stories of the 2012 London Olympics.

BRONZE: Ye Shiwen Is Clean but America Is Still Pissed

China’s Ye Shiwen, probably the greatest female swimmer on the planet, has passed her doping tests according to Lord Colin Moynihan, head of the British Olympic Association. She “deserves recognition for her talent,” Moynihan told the BBC yesterday.

Shiwen — only 16-years-old — won the 400-metre individual medley race last Saturday, eclipsing the world record by an entire second, and besting her previous time by five seconds.

Despite the World Anti-Doping Agency’s verdict on the swimmer, United States coach John Leonard called Shiwen’s speed “disturbing” and “unbelievable.” Actually Coach, the idea of American Exceptionalism in the face of two failing wars and a moribund economy is “disturbing” and “unbelievable.” Get a grip and move on.

SILVER: British Police Arrest a Tweeting Boy

A 17-year-old boy was arrested Tuesday for throwing threatening and malicious tweets at British diver Tom Daley after failing to win gold. One of the tweets read: “You let your Dad down; I hope you know that” — Daley’s father died from cancer last year.

Britain’s chef de mission Andy Hunt said the tweets were “completely unreasonable and a threat.”

Internet forums seem to bring out the worst in humanity — just read a Toronto Sun Comments section. But at the rate the Bobbies are arresting both citizens and athletes at these Games, it’s looking like London 1984.

GOLD: Saudi Judoka Will Wear Head Scarf, Still Treated Like Crap in Her Country

The International Judo Federation will allow Saudi judo fighter Wojdan Ali Seraj Abdulrahim Shaherkani to fight with her headscarf, despite initial concerns of safety and violations of judo tradition. According to International Olympic Committee spokesman Mark Adams, the brokered deal is “safety compliant [and] allows for cultural sensitivity.”

The 2012 London Olympics marks the first time female Saudi athletes have been allowed to compete. This year, a special invitation was made to Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Brunei — nations that have never fielded female athletes — to include women.

Hopefully Shaherkani doesn't get stoned if puts up a poor performance.

Related: Medal Count: France Surges

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It's day four of the 2012 London Olympics and France has surged into third place, leapfrogging (ha, ha) Korea and Italy. While Italy still has more medals than France, the latter has more gold. All three of France's victories have come in Swimming, with the rest coming in Shooting and Judo. We know that Europeans are imperialists, but when did they conquer Japanese martial arts?

The People's Non-Republic of China remain first overall with nine gold medals. China used to be known for its proficiency only in Gymnastics and Table Tennis (Ping Pong for English speaking readers), but it's apparent they've achieved utter domination in just about every sport. Expect Go-Karting and Ultimate Frisbee to be next.

The United States have the most medals overall, most of them coming in Swimming and Shooting. We'll let you think of your own inappropriate joke here.

Canada only has two medals, but what did you expect? To misappropriate a Chris Rock joke about black people: "As soon as they invent a heated hockey rink, we'll take that shit too!"

1. The People's Republic of China: 9 Gold, 5 Silver, 3 Bronze. Total: 17

2. The United States of America: 6 Gold, 7 Silver, 5 Bronze. Total: 18

3. France: 3 Gold, 1 Silver, 3 Bronze. Total: 7

21. Canada: 2 Bronze. Total: 2

Related: London 2012: Daily TORO Top 3

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Remember when Peter Jackson said he wouldn’t be making any Hobbit movies? If only the Peter Jackson now making three Hobbit movies (working with a bulbous 288 pages of material) could’ve spoken to the Peter Jackson of yesteryear. He’d be all like “Peter, I know you’d like to move on, creatively and professionally, after spending so much of your short life filming every excruciating detail of these fantasy books for children, but you do have to pay everyone back for The Lovely Bones."

Yes, The Hobbit will now be a trilogy which is very exciting. I can’t wait for the climactic scene in which Bilbo Baggins literally runs out of story to exist in, then spends the remaining 38 minutes sitting idly on a stack of blank papers.

Blog DAILY TORO
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Torontonians keep getting more and more reasons to embrace “staycations.” From August 11-12, the Toronto Islands’ Gibraltar Point will be home to the bohemian love-in, be-in, and camp-in known as the ALL CAPS! Island Festival.

Presented by concert mavens Wavelength and artist retreaters Artscape, ALL CAPS! calls itself “Toronto’s only music, art, and camping festival.” The event also features swimming, bonfires and if we know the Islands loose joints, public drinking, and frisbee golf. 

This year’s lineup includes Toronto’s Absolutely Free (former members of DD/MM/YYYY), Montreal’s Yamantaka / Sonic Titan, Brooklyn’s A Place to Bury Strangers, and a shit-ton of other bands with weird names. Installations from VSVSVS, Felix Kalmenson, and Jessica Vallentin will be peppered throughout the grounds. And Wilco enthusiasts Sky Blue Sky Sandwich Co. will cater.

We’ve already reached the wrong side of Summer. So if you haven’t been on a boat or had tent sex yet, we recommend an ALL CAPS! weekend.

Check out the trailer for the festival below.

Related: Canada’s Top 10 Hipster Hotels

Related: Skrillex: Full Flex

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As you can see from the picture above, Tom Hardy's been working on his tan. The British star was recently spotted with a massive solar stripe running down the centre of his face. And he don't look too pleased.

In The Dark Knight Rises, Hardy plays the supervillain Bane, who for mysterious health reasons, is forced to wear a mask at all times.

Obviously, Hardy never took TORO's tanning advice.

We haven't seen a makeover this funny since that time you woke up hungover, with cock moustaches Sharpied all over your face and Doritos in your hair.

Related: TORO reviews The Dark Knight Rises

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Hey, how’s your Monday morning going? Not too good, could be better? Working a job you don’t really like for some unimagined end that may never come, or at least not before you’ve locked arms in the sweet embrace of death?

At least you’re (probably) not an escalator repairman for the city of San Francisco! So there’s that. Those lucky so-and-sos got a nice brown surprise last week, when a malfunctioning escalator in the city’s Civic Center Station was found to be clogged with doo-doo. Via the SF Chronicle:



"When work crews pulled open a broken BART escalator ... they found so much human excrement in its works they had to call a hazardous-materials team. While the sheer volume of human waste was surprising, its presence was not. Once the stations close, the bottom of BART station stairwells in downtown San Francisco are often a prime location for homeless people to camp for the night or find a private place to relieve themselves."

Case closed. No need to dust for fingerprints. Move along.

In Other News: Olympic Highlights

Blog DAILY TORO
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Every day, until the closing ceremonies, TORO presents the Top 3 stories of the 2012 London Olympics.

BRONZE: London Would Be Nothing Without Vancouver

This weekend, Lord Colin Moynihan, head of Great Britain’s Olympic program, claimed, “the success of London so far is due to the success of Canada.” Since 2010’s Winter Olympics, Moynihan has been working closely with his Canadian Olympic Committee counterparts, seeking guidance in things both technical and emotional.

What’s the most important thing Moynihan learned from Canadians? “We learned that…we needed to focus on those early events and try and get the gold [to relieve the stress].”

So far Team GB has won silver in Cycling and bronze in Swimming. But if there were a medal for diplomatic flattery, Moynihan would already have nothing to worry about.

SILVER: Yellow Submarines Abound

Danny Boyle knows how to take an audience on a trip. The Oscar-winning director (Slumdog Millionaire) and artistic director of this year’s opening ceremonies put on a fantastical show, punctuated by flying Yellow Submarines, a nod to the Beatles’ psychedelic album.

For those of you that enjoy watching multi-billion dollar international athletic events in your basements under the influence, it was a surely a welcome treat.

GOLD: Canada Wins Its First Medal

Today’s Gold story is actually bronze.

On Sunday, Emilie Heymans and Jennifer Abel won bronze in Women’s Synchronized 3m Springboard. It was Canada’s first medal of the Games, and it came a full four days faster than in Beijing. The 30-year-old Heymans of St. Lambert Quebec became the first female diver to reach the podium in four consecutive Olympic games. The 20-year-old Abel won silver in the event at last year’s world championships.

We love our female athletes at TORO, and as you can tell from the photo above, Heymans and Abel are two lovely ladies indeed.

Related: Dream Team or Olympic Nightmare?

Related: Medal Count: Tiny Darkhorse China Takes the Lead

Blog DAILY TORO
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Influential French science fiction and experimental filmmaker Chris Marker has died at the age of 91.

Though he worked primarily in what could be called experimental documentary filmmaking, Marker’s career - and much of post-‘50s sci-fi - revolves around La jetée (1962), a 28-minute narrative piece composed almost entirely of still photographs. The story of a man forced to travel through time while obsessing over the image of a beautiful woman would inspire the plot of Terry Gilliam’s 12 Monkeys (1995), but Marker’s sensibility was grittier and less comic, influencing thoughtful and emotionally-driven sci-fi classics like Stalker (1979), Blade Runner (1982) and others before Gilliam revived interest in his career.

La jetée (The Pier) - Subtitles accessible via video toolbar:



Marker’s films are often described as “cinematic essays,” a concept that seem obtuse but makes sense in context. He combined documentary footage, unconventional narration and abstract structure to engage the mind and throw it off-balance at the same time - like an essayist, using existing information to convey new ideas. La jetée and Sans Soleil (1983) have been released by Criterion as a single-volume set; intrepid viewers could follow that with the political piece A Grin Without a Cat (1977), then AK (1985) and One Day in the Life of Andrei Arsenevich (2000), his documentaries on fellow cinematic legends Akira Kurosawa and Andrei Tarkovsky, respectively.

Those in Toronto can check out a double screening of La jetée and Sans Soleil August 21 at TIFF Bell Lightbox.

In Other News: Mary Poppins Author Biopic Announces Cast

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machete_kills.jpgIt’s been a few years, but have you got around to watching Machete (2010) yet? Remember, it was spoof of crappy action movies that was in itself a crappy action movie, but that’s okay because they were trying to make it crappy? I only got 10 minutes in because, and this is just me being a snob, I don’t like things that are crappy regardless of whether they were intended to be crappy in the first place.

Well, it’s getting a sequel called Machete Kills which will probably be even crappier, and therefore better somehow. It will star Charlie Sheen as the President, Mel Gibson as an insane terrorist, Cuba Gooding Jr. as an assassin and Molly Ringwald as Satan. I made that last one up, but you get the joke! Also Lady Gaga is in it. Take a look! When the funniest thing about your movie is the IMDB credits page you’re definitely on to something!

In Other News: First Trailer Drops for Cloud Atlas

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We're three days into the London 2012 Games of the XXX Olympiad — not as sexy as the name suggests — and there are few surprises.

The tiny East Asian country known as China is in the lead with 12 medals. Those who still think Chinese people are small, unathletic and uncoordinated, have obviously never encountered the charms of pseudo-fascist athletic programs and hyper-capitalistic fervour.

Our best friend, America, follows close behind with 11 medals. Again — pseudo-fascist athletic programs and hyper-capitalist fervour.

All of Italy's eight medals have come from violent sports: Archery, Fencing, Judo and Shooting. Italia: the land of latent, sado-masochistic, Freudian sexual repression.

And then there's Canada. We won a bronze medal in Women's Synchronized 3m Springboard. Considering it took Canada seven days to win anything in Beijing, the victory should be declared a success.

1. The People's Republic of China: 6 Gold, 4 Silver, 2 Bronze. Total: 12

2. The United States of America: 3 Gold, 5 Silver, 3 Bronze. Total: 11

3. Italy: 2 Gold, 4 Silver, 2 Bronze. Total: 8

22. Canada: 1 Bronze. Total: 1

Related: TORO Interviews Simon Whitfield


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[html]After their “Honeycomb / Gotham” 7” left no heads unscratched this past May, Animal Collective quickly issued notice that their new album Centipede Hz would be “(hard) for people to swallow.” We all got worried.

Thankfully, the album’s first official single “Today’s Supernatural” is weird in all the right ways. Frontman Avey Tare has really learned how to work within his limited range, and a strong, intoxicating rhythm makes up for a noticeable lack of hooks. But what do you think?





In Other News: Behind the Scenes w/ Bright Light Social Hour

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