[html]Our favourite blues siren Kandle Osborne has released a new video. “Small,” from her self-titled debut EP, gets a simple no-budget treatment - Osborne in various “mug shot” set ups - but it hardly matters because, ya know, she’s pretty damn easy on the eyes.

Related: TORO Interviews Kandle


Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is done politicking and banging the help, he's gone back to what he does best: Beating the crap out of visible minorities! On film, of course.

Witness below the first trailer for Schwarzenegger's The Last Stand. In the film, Arnie plays a border town sheriff who must stop a murderous drug kingpin before he escapes to Mexico. The film also stars Oscar-winner Forest Whitaker and professional special person Johnny Knoxville.

The Last Stand is Korean director Kim Jee-woon's first English language film, and if it's anything like his previous work (think Tarantino but even more crazy), we're in for good time.


Megadeth front man Dave Mustaine has accused President Obama of staging the recent Aurora and Sikh temple shootings in an effort to pass a gun ban. Oh, and he's an idiot.

In the video attached below, Mustaine makes the unfortunate decision to both think and open his mouth at a recent concert in Singapore. He says:

""Back in my country, my president is trying to pass a gun ban, so he's staging all of these murders, like the 'Fast And Furious' thing down at the border. Aurora, Colorado, all the people that were killed there ... and now the beautiful people at the Sikh temple. I don't know where I'm gonna live if America keeps going the way it's going because it looks like it's turning into Nazi America."

This rant confirms two things: music fans will cheer at anything, so long as their hometown is mentioned, and that Mustaine is a paranoid, misinformed crotch basket.

It's been well documented that President Obama is not trying to push a gun ban (to the continued surprise of every one in the developed world). That Mustaine decided to tarnish the memory of America's shooting victims for his own sense of political unreality is bizarre and sad.


Unless you've been denying the fact that the Batman movies are the most awesome action movies since ever, you know that Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character in The Dark Knight Rises turns out to be Robin. We don't care if we spoiled the ending, it's your fault for trying to be subversive.

Recently, Gordon-Levitt visited Jimmy Kimmel and the host asked him about playing the Boy Wonder in a possible spin-off. You can watch Gordon-Levitt giddily walk around the question below. In the end nothing is answered, but nerd boners around the world remain erect, nevertheless.


Toronto: Meet your new favourite chef. Earlier this week, culinary legend Daniel Boulud named Tyler Shedden le chef de cuisine of the soon-to-open Café Boulud. 

Boulud made the announcement, saying, "Tyler has been a good soldier and is now becoming a captain." Shedden, a BC native, previously worked in New York as the private dining room chef at Boulud's flagship Daniel, and as an executive sous-chef at Gordon Ramsay at the London.

The new restaurant, currently under construction in the mezzanine of the new Four Seasons hotel, is set to open October 5. Expectations for Café Boulud are high given its proprietor's reputation as one of the greatest chefs in the world. Toronto marks the fourth time Boulud has brought his circus to Canada.

While his restaurant in Montreal has been a success, Boulud was forced to close his two Vancouver restaurants in early 2011. Locals attributed the failure to Boulud's desire to push fine dining on a more laid back west coast market. 

Boulud has been careful not make the same mistake in Toronto. As the name suggests, Café Boulud will be "casual fine dining" and Boulud has repeatedly stated that local products and multicultural influences will permeate the menu.


The Toronto Raptors have never had a true enemy, mostly because they’ve sucked for the majority of their 18-year existence. Sure, they had a few playoff series with the Knicks at the turn of the century, but for the most part, the Raptors — and their fans — have never had a team to hate.

Enter the 2012-13 Los Angeles Lakers.

Kobe and the Sideshows picked up two players this offseason that will surely get booed when they come to Canada: Steve Nash (perennial All-Star, Canadian legend) and Dwight Howard (three-time Defensive Player of the Year, pouty baby). Nash, despite being offered everything but General Manager Bryan Colangelo’s wife, chose Hollywood over Toronto this summer. Howard? He's just really annoying. So there are reasons to hate LA.

But more important than farming beef is rearing respect — NBA teams earn it by playing tough and beating the best. And unless Kobe gets caught up in another sexual assault case, the Lakers are the team to beat.

Toronto is a young team seeking confidence and identity. But if league experts are correct, the new-look Raptors are much improved. Incoming centre Jonas Valanciunas finally gives the Raptors size and grit in the middle (read: a sparring partner for Howard). New point guard Kyle Lowry has said he wants to dominate his position, and will prove difficult for Nash to defend.

The first time the Lakers and Raptors play is January 20, 2013 at the ACC. While Toronto coach Dwane Casey regurgiates the “One Game at a Time” mantra, he also asks his team to have vision. If you want to make the playoffs, you have beat playoff teams. If you want to win a championship, you have to beat championship teams. Expect a championship atmosphere at the ACC on January 20.

Related >> Raptors: Another Slice of Loss

Related >> Terrence Ross Seems to Actually Like the Raptors


Oscar-winning director Ron Howard will direct a new documentary on Jay-Z’s Made in America music festival. We are not making this up.

Yes, Ron Howard, friend to sentimental white families everywhere, will fly to Philadelphia this September to film H.O.V.A.’s celebration of hip hop culture and new music. Seriously, we’re still not making this up.

“[Jay-Z] is a phenom,” says Howard’s producer and hetero life partner Brian Grazer. “I can't even begin to explain how he is capable of remaining relevant.” That last sentence may further elucidate what we’re getting at.

Made in America is set be one of 2012’s premiere music events. The festival will take place in the (all about the) Benjamin Franklin Parkway and performers include Toronto’s Drake, Run DMC, Pearl Jam, Skrillex, and Odd Future.

We're not sure what's more strange: That Howard is directing this movie, or that Jay-Z wanted him to. Somebody's jumping the shark, we just don't know who.

Related >> TORO Reviews Watch the Throne

Related >> TORO Gallery: Skrillex at Full Flex


For five days next April, the schemers behind Bravo’s Top Chef will take to the seas on a celebrity cruise ship and sail the Caribbean with 2,000 lucky (read: wealthy) fans. Chef Tom Colicchio and Toronto girl Gail Simmons will host the sojourn.

Guests will meet the show’s judges and “cheftestants,” witness demos, and participate in Quickfire challenges. (Those who fail to please both the hosts and celebrity guest judges will be thrown off the boat and become protein for the local wildlife.)

The cruise’s menus will be designed by former contestants, but executed by the ship’s staff. The ship will depart from Miami and make stops in Key West and Cozumel.

Top Chef is really taking promotional decadence to another level with this cruise, and little brother Top Chef Canada has similar visions of grandeur. Next winter, 50 lucky Canadian fans will be invited to take the TTC’s crosstown bus with Chef Mark McEwan, and sample new products from Kraft, or whatever other company decides to fund the event.

Related >> Meet TORO Woman Lisa Ray

Related >> TORO Talks to Top Chef Canada Winner Dale MacKay


Gotye will not let his music die until you are dead first. The Australian songwriter recently released another version of his behemoth single, "Somebody That I Used to Know," this time splicing together YouTube covers of the original. Featured in the video is that Canadian sideshow that appeared on the Ellen Show, a Jerry Garcia-looking dude, and a saxaphone player straight out of a 1980s porno. You can watch the love-in below.

The video might be the pinnacle of YouTube self-reflexive masturbation. Witness unknown musicians getting mildly famous by covering covers of other musicians no one cares about. At this point, Gotye's work has probably been repackaged more than that of George Lucas (also in the video, and naked).

We at TORO feel like we have the musical equivalent of battered woman syndrome. We don't want to listen to Gotye anymore, but we keep coming back. This much is true: Gotye can never be undone.

Related >> Gallery: Gotye Plays the Kool Haus

Related >> Watch: TORO Talks to Kembra


Everyone know's that the female vote is crucial in an election. Not only do women make up the majority of the population, but they are smarter, more responsible, and less evil than men.

Nobody understands this fact better than Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney. For years, Romney has been charming soccer moms across America with his "Just for Men" mug and Mormon charm. But in this election year, Romney knew he needed to tap into the younger generation. Enter Representative Paul Ryan, a running mate sure to woo the young women running America's gun clubs and anti-immigration lobbies.

And it looks like Romney's choice is paying off.

Consider Buzz Feed's adequately named gallery, "People Who Look Like Paul Ryan." The site compares him to heartthrobs James McAvoy and Jake Gyllenhaal.

And then there's Paul Ryan Gosling, a Twitter feed with over 30,000 followers that fuses Ryan's choir boy good looks with the former TORO cover boy's "Hey Girl" meme. A recent Tweet reads: "Hey girl, you don't need a welfare check for groceries. I got a six-pack right here." Be sure to use that next time you're at the bar.

It seems Paul Ryan has girls swooning across the Internet.

We know what you're thinking: Shouldn't a politician be measured by his intelligence, policy, and track record? The answer is yes. But this fact cannot be denied: It's easier to swallow a man's politics when he's good looking. Just ask Bill Clinton (pun absolutely intended).

Related >> Mitt Romney's Good Looks Incite Domestic Abuse


Toronto's Aunties and Uncles, a greasy spoon located just outside Kensington Market, has turned out to be a little too greasy.

Inspected on August 8, the restaurant received a "Conditional Pass," overachieving with a spectacular seven infractions (one crucial, two significant, and four minor). The crucial infraction had to do with "inadequate temperature control." So the next time they offer you a side of sashimi with your hangover pancakes, you say "no" and book it to the thunder bucket.

Another dirty Toronto restaurant survives another dirty Toronto day. It's enough to make the douchiest food blogger even more cynical. But remember what His Righteous, the Omniscient Gastro God Anthony Bourdain says: "If you don't have a 50 percent chance of getting diarrhea, it's not worth eating."

Related >> TORO Talks to Anthony Bourdain

Blog TIFF 12


As part of TIFF’s Future Projections Programme Toronto’s favourite raunch-pig, Peaches, will be installing herself at Toronto’s hipster hideaway the Drake Hotel, presenting a new projection-based work for the duration of the Festival (September 6 to 16). And, of course, Peaches herself promises an appearance (September 14). Seriously, if there’s one night to be at the Drake it’s that one. The one-time event follows the world premiere of her film, Peaches Does Herself, and will feature a laser harp show by the gender-bending electro-pop artist and her band Sweet Machine. It’s guaranteed to be a fuzzy night. (wawa)

Blog TIFF 12

The Toronto International Film Festival has revealed a new crop of high-profile screenings. Among additions announced today: Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master, Daniel Algrant’s Jeff Buckley bio / father-son drama Greetings from Tim Buckley, Lee Daniels’ Precious follow-up The Paperboy, Spike Lee’s Michael Jackson doc Bad 25, and the North American premiere of Walter Salles’ On the Road, one of the most highly anticipated (or dreaded) literary adaptations in film history.

Newly added galas / special presentations:

Song for Marion (dir. Paul Andrew Williams) - closing night film
Emperor (dir. Peter Webber)
What Maisie Knew (dir. Scott McGehee / David Siegel)
Arthur Newman (dir. Dante Ariola)

Bad 25 (dir. Spike Lee)

Disconnect (dir. Henry Alex Rubin)
Do Not Disturb (dir. Yvan Attal)
Greetings from Tim Buckley (dir. Daniel Algrant)
Lines of Wellington (dir. Valeria Sarmiento)
Love is All You Need (dir. Susanne Bier)

On the Road (dir. Walter Salles)
Passion (dir. Brian De Palma)
Rhino Season (dir. Bahman Ghobadi)
Spring Breakers (dir. Harmony Korine)
The Master (dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)
The Paperboy (dir. Lee Daniels) 

The Son Did It (dir. Daniele Cipri)
The Suicide Shop (dir. Patrice Leconte)
Therese Desqueyroux (dir. Claude Miller)
White Elephant (dir. Pablo Trapero)
Yellow (dir. Nick Cassavetes)

Related: Keep Up to Date On TIFF and Features


The Italian government has launched an official inquiry after an American tourist complained about a brand of wine that features pictures of Hitler on its labels. Oh, guter Gott.

Philadelphia lawyer Michael Hirsch was visiting the city of Garda with his wife when he came across the bottles in a store. When he complained to an employee, Hirsch was met with indifference and told that Hitler was merely a historical figure like anyone else. Hirsch, whose wife is a descendant of an Auschwitz survivor, was not amused.

"We think of it as neo-Nazism," he recently told the Telegraph. "It makes you wonder about the sympathies of the local people."

The Hitler wine is made by the Lunardelli winery as part of their "Line of History." (We don't encourage hate mail or violence of any sort, but what you do with your hyperlinks is your own business.)  Hitler wine variations include the Cabernet Franc, "Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" (One People, One Empire, One Leader) and the oh so popular Merlot, "Sieg Heil." 

What's next? Uncle Joseph's Gulag Goulash? President's Choice Chicken Pol Pot Pie?

How Lunardelli even thought they could get away with this is beyond us. Only Glenn Beck holds such a privilege!


Somewhere, Anthony Bourdain is touching himself. This weekend, Toronto's Leslieville Farmers' Market presents Baconfest 2012, the first of its kind in Canada, and a veritable orgy of all things smoky and porky.

Local sensations Glas Restaurant and le Papillon on the Park will cook innumerable types of bacon for festival-goers, including tofu bacon (sorry). Also expect bacon waffles from Waffle Bar, bacon ice cream from Ed's Real Scoop, and bacon covered orgasms from TORO favourite the Burger's Priest.

The city's best bacon will be judged at noon.

​Baconfest 2012, August 12, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Jonathan Ashbridge Park (one block west of Coxwell and Queen)​.

Related >> Burger's Priest Gets Third Toronto Location


Dude. According to Vulture the new Bill and Ted movie will be directed by Academy Award winner Dean Parisot. The film will catch up with our heroes 25 years after their last Bogus Journey. Apparently Torontonian Keanu Reeves (really?) and Alex Winter (no surprises here) have agreed to reprise the title roles.

Winter stated in a previous interview that the role of Rufus, played by the late legend George Carlin, will not be recasted.

In case you didn't know, the Bill and Ted franchise is about the adventures of two wannabe rock gods tasked with saving the universe as they travel through time in a magical phone booth. Hey, it was the 80s and there was a lot of blow going around.

Despite having one of the stupidest plots in the history of ever, the BIll and Ted movies are actually pretty funny. And when's the last time you saw a stoner movie that referenced Ingmar Bergman?


All through these Summer Games, we've been making fun of Team USA for playing second fiddle to the athlete plantation that is the Tweeple's Republic of China. Well, now it's time to eat our words. The United States of America, the greatest land mass in the history of the universe, and humanity's last true hope against the tyranny of some yet-unknown Islamic country, has more medals (Gold too) than any other nation at London. Somewhere, in a distant corner of a Denny's in Scranton, an NRA member is smiling.

Host Team GB isn't doing bad itself, with 25 Gold in hand. Hey, maybe now that the Games are almost over and Great Britain has all that hardware, London can do something about the still-ravaged London Riot neighbourhoods.

With Richard Weinberger's Bronze in this morning's 10-kilometre swimming marathon, Canada now has 17 medals, and a pretty good chance of beating our Beijing medal total of 18. It's been a memorable, if not completely successful Games for Canada, rife with pride, drama, and Brian Williams. It all makes it easy for a Canadian to get sentimental.

But that's not our style.

We've got one message for you Canada: Do better next time.

1. The United States of America: 39 Gold, 25 Silver, 26 Bronze. Total: 90

2. The People's Republic of China: 37 Gold, 25 Silver, 19 Bronze. Total: 81

3. Great Britain:25 Gold, 15 Silver, 16 Bronze. Total: 56

32. Canada: 1 Gold, 5 Silver, 11 Bronze. Total: 17

Related >> Giving John Herman His Due


Ryan Gosling is about to feel the swift hand of the law — sort of.

Today in Toronto, the former TORO cover boy will be issued the world’s largest speeding ticket at the corner of Queen and University, just steps away from Ontario’s almighty traffic courts. His penalty? $290 (CDN).

No the ticket isn’t real, it’s just a publicity stunt masterminded by Jay Kimel-Fleishman, CEO of FileMyTickets.com, a service that allows Ontario drivers to book court dates online. The tickets are carbon copies of the ones you’ve probably found on your windshield.

In case you haven’t caught on, the joke is a reference to the 2011 film Drive, wherein Gosling plays a getaway driver who tears through the streets and highways of Los Angeles, evading cops and gangsters, and looking like a studly badass. Kimel-Fleishman figures Gosling should be punished for all the speed limits he broke in the movie (never mind the dozens of people he murdered).

Check out evidence of Gosling’s offences below.

Related >> TORO Does TIFF 11

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Blog TIFF 12

Usually when the son of a famous artist piggybacks on his father’s notoriety (we’re looking at you, Sean Lennon), we barf just a little. But not today!

Witness below the trailer for Antiviral, the new body-horror film from Brandon Cronenberg, son of former TORO cover boy David. In the film, Caleb Landry Jones plays an employee at a clinic that injects viruses harvested from celebrities into the bodies of obsessed fans. Sarah Gadon (Cosmopolis) and Nicholas Campbell (Da Vinci’s Inquest) also star.

The trailer looks seriously gross in a good way and is reminiscent of the senior filmmaker's early horror work. For years we’ve been praying — without success — that Dad would go back to perverting the Toronto landscape with exploding heads and stomach vaginas. It seems we were praying to the wrong Cronenberg all along.

Antiviral premieres this September at TIFF.

Related >> TORO Talks to David Cronenberg

Related >> TIFF Announces its Canadian Lineup


After a bitter loss to the Americans at the hands of a Scandinavian witch (kidding), Canada’s Women’s Soccer team defeated France 1-0 this morning to take home the Bronze. Diana Beverley Matheson was the hero, bringing closure to her team and country.

The victory comes three days after a semifinal loss to the Americans wherein Norwegian referee Christina Pederson called a seldom-enforced six-second violation on Canadian keeper Erin McLeod. That call led to the game-tying American goal, and then American victory in extra time. After the game, Pederson was seen luring young children into what looked like a white van made of gingerbread.

Canada now has 15 medals, three off our Beijing total with only two more days of competition. But even if we fail to win even one more medal, take comfort in the fact that our footie girls are happy.

As for the rest of the medal race, well, not much has changed. Leading the field with a shit-zillion medals is the People vs. Larry Flynt of China, and in second place is the United States of Tara with a gabillion and one medals. It’s been a long Games.

1. The People’s Republic of China: 36 Gold, 23 Silver, 19 Bronze. Total: 78

2. The United States of America: 34 Gold, 23 Silver, 25 Bronze. Total: 82

3. Great Britain: 24 Gold, 13 Silver, 14 Bronze. Total: 51

30. Canada: 1 Gold, 4 Silver, 10 Bronze. Total: 15

Related >> London 2012: Daily TORO Top 3

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