FRIDAY JULY 21, 2017
 
INSIDE TORO
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Even with the cult acclaim of Donnie Darko (2001), writer / director Richard Kelly has yet to helm an actual box-office success.

Thankfully he hasn’t been run out of the business just yet. Variety reports his follow-up to the underrated thriller The Box (2009) will star Nicolas Cage. The fact-based Amicus will follow lawyer / first amendment scholar Rodney Smolla, played by Cage, who in the mid ‘90s defended the publisher of a “guide” for hit men that directly inspired a murder. The movie will take place over many years of Smolla’s life, including that time he was sent through a watery space portal to stop a nuclear war, or something.


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Mike Love has kicked Brian Wilson, David Marks, and Al Jardine out of the Beach Boys, ending the band's 50th anniversary reunion, and proving once again that he is drunk on delusions of grandeur.

Love, who owns the rights to the Beach Boys name, claimed in a public statement that his decision to sack his more talented bandmates was financially motivated. "You've got to be careful not to get overexposed," said Love. "The Eagles found out the hard way when they went out for a second year and wound up selling tickets for $5." Does that sound stupid to anyone else?

Wilson did not understand why the fun, fun, fun of touring had to stop. "I'm disappointed [that Love] doesn't want to tour with Al, David and me," he said. "We are out here having so much fun. After all, we are the real Beach Boys."

Indeed they are.

Love firing Wilson from the Beach Boys is like Ringo Starr kicking out John Lennon from the Beatles. In terms of artistic output and contributing to "the sound" of the band, Love is probably the Beach Boys' least important member. Have you heard "Kokomo?"

No matter, Wilson has weathered worse storms than this. When the hurricane settles, and only the music remains, Wilson will be remembered as the genius who wrote Pet Sounds and Smile. And Mike Love will be remembered as the man who fired Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys.

God only knows what he is thinking.

Related >> Rich Aucoin's Video Tribute to Brian Wilson



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Johnny Lewis, star of FX Canada's Sons of Anarchy, was found dead yesterday at a Los Angeles crime scene. He was 28 years old.

Police discovered Lewis's body on the driveway of a house in the Los Feliz neighbourhood. The owner of the house, 81-year-old Katherine Chabot Davis, was also found dead inside. Local television news reported that neighbours heard screams before noticing Lewis on the roof of the woman's home. Allegedly, the actor fell to his death.

Lewis also had roles in the TV shows Criminal Minds, Bones, and The OC.

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Korean cinema might be the most exciting in the world, though its armoury of auteurs do not get the recognition they deserve from mass audiences. Hopefully this wrong is to be righted with the release of Park Chan-wook's (Oldboy) new thriller, Stoker.

The trailer for the film, below, looks monstrously seductive. Stoker follow's India, a teenage girl forced to live with her unstable mother when her father dies in a car crash. Her mysterious (and evidently murderous) uncle then shows up and takes India under his wing. The film stars Nicole Kidman, Mia Wasikowska, and Matthew Goode.

The cast is solid but we're most excited to see Park direct his first English language film. He's known for fearless on-screen violence, taboo themes, and pure cinematic style. We suppose that after Park heard his masterpiece Oldboy was being remade by Spike Lee (ironically so more white people would watch it), he took a "if you can't beat em', join em'" attitude. Ethnopolitics aside, ​Stoker ​looks like a romp, and we can't wait to watch it.

Related >> WATCH the Trailer for Arnold's Last Stand

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Dear American palates: You are wrong. This was the message Chef David Chang delivered in a recent MAD symposium (video below) on the misconceptions surrounding the taboo subject of monosodium glutamate (MSG). "All evidence suggests that MSG is not [uniquely] harmful," said Chang, "it's just a delicious salt."

Chang, famous across the world for his fusion of European technique with pan-Asian comfort food, is a long-time opponent of the cultural prejudice he calls "Chinese Food Syndrome."

He claims that people's perceived hatred of Asian food comes from an American myth that MSG is an allergen that causes everything from headaches to nausea, despite the fact humans happily consume boatloads of MSG via things like fast food, tomatoes, vegemite and plain old breast milk.

MSG, or umami, is recognized as the fifth taste (along with sour, sweet, bitter and salty). It's natural, ubiquitous, and like other foods, its components are found in the human body. And Chang pleads with his audience to challenge their cultural biases with common sense and scientific evidence.

We at TORO have long been umami backers. So to the gastro-zealots out there: We hate to say we told you so, but we told you so.

Related >> WATCH Scarpetta's Michael Hunter Make Ricotta Raviolini

Related >> WATCH Zane Caplanskly Make Maple Bacon Donuts

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After years of nervous speculation, the sequel to Dumb and Dumber has finally been given a name: Dumb and Dumber To, and isn't that just perfect? Directors Peter and Bobby Farrelly made the announcement via Twitter:

"You might be interested to know that we are almost done with the Dumb and Dumber To (sic) script. I think you're going to like it."

Considering Twitter is today's only reliable news source outside of TORO, we are very excited. Both Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels have confirmed their interest in returning to the franchise. The original film made both actors bonafide Hollywood stars when it came out in 1994.

Due to Daniels's commitment to HBO's The Newsroom, shooting for Dumb and Dumber To cannot start until Spring 2013.

It's said that the sequel will follow Harry and Lloyd as they track down an offspring of which either of them could be the father. It sounds cheesy and sentimental, but you'll be happy to know, according to Daniels, that the movie will be completely stupid (in a good way) and that the characters will not have developed in any way.

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Three weeks into the season, NFL fans have finally had enough of replacement officials. Of course, it took one really bad call that determined the outcome of a game to bring things to a boil. For some reason, the cumulative madness in the first couple weeks didn't drive home the point enough.

Last night, on the last play of the game with Seattle down 12-7 to Green Bay, Seahawks QB Russell Wilson tossed a 24-yarder into the end zone to Golden Tate. It appeared to be pulled down by M.D. Jennings of the Packers but there was a grab for the ball and ensuing pile up. When the officials arrived to survey the pile, they each looked at each other before one called it incomplete and the other called it a touchdown. Upon review, the touchdown call stood and the Seahawks had eked out a 14-12 win.

And now, everyone is finally complaining, from fans to commentators to coaches and players. Some have even posted NFL commish Roger Goodell’s cell phone number to Facebook.

Heck, even the Lingerie Football League has spoken. Saying it fired crews for incompetence that are now officiating in the NFL in a statement on their Facebook page:

“Due to several on-field incompetent officiating we chose to part ways with with a couple crews which apparently are now officiating in the NFL. We have a lot of respect for our officials but we felt the officiating was not in line with our expectations.

“We have not made public comment to date because we felt it was not our place to do so. However in light of tonight's event, we felt it was only fair that NFL fans knew the truth as to who are officiating these games.”

The NFL is using crews not good enough to officiate the LFL? We'd LOL but the whole idea of starting a season with replacement officials is just too painful to even be ridiculous. It's all fun and games until someone loses ... a game.

Worst call ever? You decide.

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The Toronto Raptors' top draft pick and starting centre of the future, Jonas Valanciunas, is presently injured, proving once again that the basketball Gods hate Canadians.

According to the team, Valanciunas sustained a left calf sprain Saturday at the Air Canada Centre during a voluntary workout. The injury is not believed to be serious, but no timeframe has been laid out for Valanciunas's full recovery. In other words: You can change your pants, but put on some sweats just in case.

“After hearing what the doctor’s diagnosis was, I’m less concerned than I was when I first heard about it," said Raptors' head coach Dwane Casey. 

The injury occured when Valanciunas heard a "pop" in his leg after landing a routine jump shot.

It's good to know that Valanciunas will live another day, but with training camp starting next week in Halifax, fans and team personal have to be concerned. For rookies, training camp is invaluable; this is where the kids learn the fundamentals of the game and become accustomed to their new surroundings. While Valanciunas has been touted as a major talent he is still very raw.

Raptors' third-year power forward Ed Davis was projected to by now — but he got injured during his rookie training camp and wasn't afforded one last season because of the lockout. Not surprisingly, Davis has been a disappointment.

The Raptors have not been very lucky in their 17-year history. They've been so bad for so long, that news of an injury of any kind is enough to make fans turn to drink. It's not fair to play with people's emotions like this. Please, David Stern, make it stop!

Related >> Lakers Should Be Raptors' Enemy No. 1

Related >> Terrence Ross Seems to Actually Like the Raptors

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Every woman's sensitive wet dream, Bon Iver, recently played New York City's Radio City Music Hall and the entire set is available on YouTube — for only 48 hours. The video (below) went live this morning at 9 a.m. and we trust you can do the rest of the math.

All the falsetto, heartbreak, and wine kisses are there. If you had a cruel summer, prepare for a good winter.

Men: This is why you can't get laid.

Related >> TORO Reviews Bon Iver

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Two scientists at the California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco have discovered a marijuana-derived compound that could prevent the spreading of several fatal cancers.

"It took us about 20 years of research to figure this out,” molecular biologist Pierre Desprez told the Huffington Post, “but we are very excited.” For decades, Desprez studied ID-1, the gene that causes cancer to spread, while his partner Sean McAllister investigated the effects of Cannabidiol (CBD), a non-toxic, non-psychoactive chemical compound found in marijuana. The two then collaborated by combining cells with high levels of ID-1 and CBD in a petri dish.

“What we found was that CBD could essentially ‘turn off’ the ID-1,” said Deprez. “The cells stopped spreading and returned to normal.”

Desprez and McAllister began researching the compounds effect on breast cancer and soon found that CBD could also fight other aggressive cancers like brain and prostate. Laboratory and animal testing has already taken place. The scientists are waiting for human testing to be approved.

Desprez uses CBD injections on subjects and notes that smoking marijuana alone would not withdraw enough of the compound to be of any benefit to cancer patients.

Marijuana is an easy punch line for politicians and journalists, but its untold benefits must be taken seriously.

We offer sincere congratulations and good luck to Desprez and McAllister, and other scientists currently fighting what has been a horrific war of attrition. Humanity of late — and always — has shown a severe intelligence deficit. That we have heroes devoting their lives to the betterment of strangers is encouraging.

Related >> TORO Talks to Chief Cancer Fucker Yael Cohen

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promised_land.jpg"From the director of Good Will Hunting comes Matt Damon in a field. It makes the Bourne trilogy look like an Ambien overdose."

What could he be staring at? A house? Another field? What was he promised that was not delivered?? “What’s your price?” Please tell me what you’re offering first! Ostensively a movie poster should stand on its two legs in its own field and create some sort of anticipation without further narrative context. Wouldn’t you love to meet the guy this almost surreally boring print catches the attention of? “I love fields, I have pants and a belt. THIS MOVIE WILL SPEAK TO ME.”

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Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong has checked into rehab after abruptly stopping his band’s set at the iHeartRadio festival in Las Vegas this past Friday.

The 40-year-old singer / guitarist was apparently upset by a sign (1 MINUTES) asking for a wrap on their performance, and not necessarily because it was grammatically incorrect.

Though the crowd loved Armstrong’s slurred rant and weak-ass guitar-smashing those antics have led to some soul-searching and the cancellation of promo gigs for new album ¡Uno!. That one drops tomorrow, check back for our review.

To summarize, Green Day wanted to keep performing music after they probably should have stopped. We’ll leave it at that.




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We checked out Reggie Watts at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre as JFL42 got under way this weekend in Toronto. Here, he warms up the crowd with a souful song — as only he can.

More >> Talking To Reggie Watts | Catching up with Reggie Watts

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If Kanye West can't be in a sex-tape with an 18-year-old Kim Kardashian look-alike, then life is not worth living. Luckily, Kanye West is in a sex-tape with an 18-year-old Kim Kardashian look-alike and it might be made public!

Hardball journalists RadarOnline.com have watched the entire 20-minute tape (How do people get a hold of such things?) and can confirm with a screencap that Kanye and his pouty chipmunk face is in fact doing the dirty.

Allegedly, the video begins with the girl stating she is of legal tender, they then bone in various positions, and Kanye wears a condom the entire time. Allegedly.

Sex.com (be mindful of the boobs if you're currently in a cubicle) has released an official statement declaring their interest to buy the video for $1 million. "By making a Kanye West sex-tape public," says the porn website, "[we feel] that he and current girlfriend Kim Kardashian will become the first celebrity sex-tape power couple." Because that's what every little boy from Atlanta dreams of becoming.

According to a "source," Kanye is very upset over this debacle and has even come to tears. According to another source, this is all very hilarious and Kanye West is an idiot.

George Bush doesn't care about black people in sex tapes.

Related >> Kanye Hands Out $34,000 Statues to His Friends

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Is the Jackie Robinson film 42 going to be the first biopic to not suck? We just watched the trailer for it (below) and the movie actually looks pretty good.

The film focuses on Robinson's discovery and eventual rise to infamy while playing for the Brooklyn Dodgers. It stars Chadwick Boseman (Fringe) as the lead and an almost unrecognizable Harrison Ford in his first role where he is not punching someone in the face.

We usually hate biopics. They're overly sentimental and boring. But 42 seems to have grit. The trailer even has a Jay-Z song. More importantly, it doesn't look like a story about black people told from the perspective some benevolent old white lady.

Related >> Sport's Final Barrier?

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[html]Remember that amazing picture of Christopher Walken and Al Pacino hangin’ out on the sidewalk, waiting for a bus full of suddenly terrified people that may never arrive? Turns out somebody spun a whole movie out of it called Stand Up Guys, unfortunately not about two aged comedians taking one last shot at the big time.

Instead it follows a paroled criminal, played by Pacino, and his old pal Walken, who is ordered by Ace Ventura’s landlord to take out his best friend. Take him out figuratively meaning shoot him, and literally meaning grant him one last night on the town. Check it out:



Related >> TORO Meets Christopher Walken

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[html]We’ve yet to see how Anthony Hopkins captures the unique, slightly blubbering tone of Alfred Hitchock’s voice in the upcoming mini-biopic (set mostly during the making of Psycho) Hitchcock. But he’s certainly captured the late director’s famous jowls, as we see in this first official poster:

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That is one sharp necktie. Hitchcock also stars Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Michael Stuhlbarg and, uh, the Karate Kid himself Ralph Maccio, and opens in limited release November 23. 



In other spooky movie news, Oldboy director Park Chan-wook will soon make his English-language debut with Stoker. Entertainment Tonight has shared some “trailer footage” (yeah, that’s a thing now) for the psychological thriller. Watch it below, and get ready to stare coldly at the movie when it opens March of next year.

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New Zealand singing sensation Kimbra, most famous for lending her vocals to the popular Gotye track "Somebody That I Used To Know," is embarking on her headline tour for her album Vows. She's just released another high-energy video for her single "Come Into My Head."

Catch her on tour through the end of the year and check out some of TORO's previous encounters with Kimbra until then:
VIDEO: Interview with Kimbra
VIDEO: Kimbra performs "Come Int My Head" Live at SXSW
PHOTOS: Kimbra performs in Toronto

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If you ever make fun of Tony Danza ever again, TORO will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious blogging.

In a recent interview with Access Hollywood, the star of Who's the Boss revealed that he was once pen pals with an incarcerated Tupac Shakur. Danza (without editor) said:

“I was trying to make a point that since he had five bullets holes in him and he was in jail and he’s the same guy that wrote ‘Dear Mama’ and did all those great acting roles, I said, ‘Maybe there is a better way to do this. I know you can’t be a goodie two-shoes in your business, but maybe there is a way to inspire kids.”

Allegedly, Shakur wrote back: "Thanks for understanding me," and just like that, the two stars became close friends.

Danza and Shakur met for the first time at a film premiere in 1996, shortly before the latter was murdered. You see? All Tony wanted to do was help a brother out and do good to the children. It's a tragedy that such a beautiful bromance was cut short. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

Related >> Tupac Hologram Company Goes Bankrupt

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Have you ever wondered what would happen if the Beatles, Maurice Sendak, and Tim Burton all had sex and gave birth to an animated music video? Well, wonder no more.

Wtness below Wilco's video for "Sunloathe," the third track off their 2011 album, The Whole Love. Mixing traditional animation with stop motion, the video follows a chubby little monster as he gets jerked around by douchey humans. Eventually he makes some friends. "Sunloathe" is a veritable acid trip down Gingerbread Lane, and the music's not bad either.

Over the years, Wilco's done a pretty good of not pandering to the masses by making YouTube hits, but "Sunloathe" seems to be a happy medium.

Related >> TORO Reviews Wilco's The Whole Love

Related >> Wilco and Billy Bragg Releasing New Music



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