FRIDAY NOVEMBER 24, 2017
 
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It's been good a good year for Canadian hip hop star, Cadence Weapon. After being labelled a "fearless" musician by Pitchfork, Edmonton's former Poet Laureate made the 2012 Polaris Prize shortlist for his third album Hope in Dirt City.

To celebrate his good fortunes, Cadence Weapon has just announced a new North American tour (dates below) and released the video for his song "Jukebox" (also below).

Related >> WATCH TORO's Interview with Cadence Weapon

The tour begins October 12, in Toronto's hipster dance palace Wrongbar, and ends in Cadence Weapon's adopted hometown of Montreal on November 17.

As for the video, "Jukebox" is a bumping track. It's schizophrenic baseline and wailing sax bolster a vocal performance that is at once understated and aggressive. The video's visual simplicity is throwback to low-budget video's from the nineties, when worldwide hip hop stardom was a far-off dream for Canadian MCs. Those days, are of course, long gone.

CADENCE WEAPON | HOPE IN DIRT CITY TOUR
10/12/12 - Toronto, ON - Wrongbar
10/13/12 - London, ON - APK Live
10/14/12 - Windsor, ON - Phog Lounge
10/15/12 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
10/17/12 - Chicago, IL - Schubas
10/18/12 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
10/19/12 - Winnipeg, MB - Park Theatre
10/20/12 - Saskatoon, SK - Amigos
10/22/12 - Calgary, AB - Commonwealth
10/23/12 - Edmonton, AB - Starlite
10/25/12 - Vancouver, BC - Fortune Sound Club
10/26/12 - Seattle, WA - Barboza
10/27/12 - Bellingham, WA - The Shakedown
10/28/12 - Portland, OR - Holocene
10/29/12 - San Francisco, CA - Brick and Mortar
10/30/12 - Los Angeles, CA - Satellite
11/01/12 - Austin, TX - Fun Fun Fun Fest Nites/Beerland
11/02/12 - Dallas, TX - Prophet Bar
11/03/12 - Birmingham, AL - Bottletree
11/04/12 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl
11/06/12 - Washington, DC - DC9
11/07/12 - Philadelphia, PA - Kung Fu Necktie
11/08/12 - Boston, MA - TT The Bear's Place
11/09/12 - Brooklyn, NY - Glasslands
11/11/12 - Buffalo, NY - Big Orbit's Soundlab
11/15/12 - Hamilton, ON - This Ain’t Hollywood
11/16/12 - Peterborough, ON - Red Dog
11/17/12 - Montreal, QC - Il Motore

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Last month, TORO posted the first teaser for Steven Spielberg's Lincoln starring Daniel Day-Lewis in the title role. We were aroused but slightly disappointed. Given the film's subject matter — the American Civil War, the abolition of slavery, Tommy Lee Jones's sad, old face — Lincoln looked too much like Forrest Gump and not enough like Patton.

Thank God for the sorcery of editing.

Last night, a new two-minute preview of the film (attached below) was shown during the Presidential Debate, and this one really brings the heavy. Witness the military music intercut with images of Martin Luther King, footage of brutal battles between the American North and South, and lots of screaming.

Most importantly, we get to see more of Day-Lewis at work, a particular pleasure for cinephiles and history buffs alike.

Lincoln follows America's 16th during the last four months of the Civil War as he tries to abolish slavery. The film also stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Robert Todd Lincoln and Sally Field as Mary Todd Lincoln.

The film be will released November 9th.

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Do you hear that? That is the sound of one million overbearing Jewish mothers getting a little verklempt

The trailer for Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand's new movie The Guilt Trip (attached below) is here. In the film, an inventor (Rogen) invites his widowed mother (Streisand) on a roadtrip across America in an effort to get her out of the house and find love again.

Directed by Anne Fletcher (The Proposal, 27 Dresses), The Guilt Trip looks a little sentimental and cutesy, but Rogen still manages to shoehorn a dick joke into the trailer.

Sugar aside, Rogen and Steisand seem to have a genuine son-mother chemistry. More importantly, the trailer succeeds in making us feel guilty about not calling our own mothers.

The Guilt Trip comes out December 25, just in time for Christmas Hanukkah the non-denominational holidays.

Related >> TORO Reviews Take This Waltz

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Hip hop legend Nas has just released the video (attached below) for "Cherry Wine" featuring the late Amy Winehouse.

In the video, Nas courts a young lady in a bar while images of Winehouse project on the wall. It's a soulful tribute to the late songstress. As per usual, Nas is on point with the words.

The song, in which Winehouse sings the hook, is the 13th track Nas's Life is Good album. It is the duo's second collaboration following "Like Smoke" of Winehouse's posthumous album, Lioness: Hidden Treasures.

"Part of me didn't want to do the song," Nas said in July, still grieving his friend's death. "But it just happened. It was supposed to happen. She made it happen."

We're glad it did.

Related >> Gallery: Lauryn Hill and Nas Play the Molson Amphitheatre

Related >> Amy Winehouse Dead

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Mounties in Coquitlam, BC are investigating a possible hate crime after several pounds of bacon were left outside of a Mosque. Muslims consider pork a symbol of impurity and forbid its consumption.

Police say the mosque was also vandalized with graffiti 18 months ago, but it is not known if the events are connected.

“Everybody was disturbed,” said Saad Bahr, president of Masjid Al-Hidayah Islamic Centre in Port Coquitlam. Nevertheless, Bahr welcomes the opportunity to speak to the perpetrators in an effort to educate them about Muslim beliefs.

Somehow, we think the swine who left the swine will decline the offer. Really, bigots? You should leave some meat outside the library — we heard educated people are taking your jobs too.

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University of Tennessee fraternity Pi Kappa Alpha held a press conference yesterday to deny allegations of "butt-chugging." In case you didn't know, butt-chugging — that's the scientific term — is the act of consuming alcohol through one's poopenshaft in an effort to get wasted faster. The video (amazing and hilarious) is attached below.

The allegations came last week when 20-year-old Alexander P. Broughton was dropped off in the emergency room with a reported 0.4 BAC. Police were called to the hospital as it appeared the victim had been sexually assaulted, but Broughton's friends assured the doctors that he had merely engaged in some wholesome butt-chuggging.

Daniel McGehee, lawyer for the fraternity, had this to say at the press conference: "Mr. Broughton denies each and every allegation whatsoever...and he thinks the idea and concept of butt-chugging is repulsive." McGehee goes on to blame the university, hospital, media, police and anyone with a sense of humour for the shame that was brought upon his client. 

In total, "butt-chugging" is uttered five times throughout the video. Amazingly, no laughter is heard.

In a statement, Broughton called out to his "fraternity brothers across the world" and condemned the "gross and immoral activity" of butt-chugging. Getting girls drunk and having sex with their semi-sentient bodies was still OK, though.

Next week, Pi Kappa Alpha plans to hold a press conference to prove once and for all that living in a house full of half-naked dudes is in fact, not gay. Also, butt-chugging.

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[html]A couple weeks ago we heard Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey were having it out on the set of American Idol. At the time it sounded like fake publicity to drum up interest in a terrible show that hasn’t produced an “idol” since the Bush administration, but oh no! Turns out the cotton candy-coloured clown and the wax mannequin woman really can’t swallow their pride for $20 million apiece like actual adults. The proof is in this barely-comprehensible video released by TMZ:



Never thought I’d say this, but damn I feel bad for Keith Urban. What man doesn’t know the pain of sitting between two screeching broads as they prattle on about God-knows-what? Buzzfeed has done the deciphering my freakin’ ears could never handle.

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[html]After years of development hell and production setbacks, Disney’s The Lone Ranger is finally finished and ready for your pithy, knee-jerk reactions. To get a head start here’s the first official trailer:







So ... if you thought The Lone Ranger would be about something cooler than the invention of the locomotive, you were wrong! Barring a cameo from Thomas the Tank Engine, this looks to be one heck of a historically accurate, $800 million (approx.) budgeted summer blockbuster.

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Toronto Raptors Coach Dwane Casey will prove that he is not a perfect square by allowing his players to listen to the rap music at the beginning of practice. Beat grunt Doug Smith of the Star broke the game-changing news this morning.

The Raptors coach lifted the idea from his friend Pete Carroll, coach of the NFL's Seattle Seahawks, and conservative looking white man. While watching a Seahawks practice, Casey was shocked to find rap blaring throughout.

“Coach Carroll’s philosophy is these guys listen to music the minute they walk off the field anyway," says Casey. "It gets them going...so that’s something we may look at as far as stretching [before practice]."

Being from Kentucky, Casey is more of a country and western fan (seriously), so he tasked Raptors DeMar DeRozan and Ed Davis to come up with a playlist. His only condition: The music has to be "clean."

Well, that doesn't leave much to choose from. We don't want to reduce hip hop to some sort of locker room jive with a beat, but most of the best stuff is pretty rugged and raw, naw mean? Hopefully Toronto practices will be err on the side of Public Enemy and not Lil Bow Wow.

Related >> Dwane Casey: Magic in the Air

Related >> Lakers Should Raptors' Enemy No. 1

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With the lockout on and Coach’s Corner temporarily sidelined, Don Cherry has nowhere left to vent but Twitter. And, as you might imagine, 140 characters were not enough to contain his rage over the latest Nazem Kadri injustice.

If you happen to live outside of the Greater Toronto Area, here’s the deal: the young Maple Leafs prospect arrived at Marlies training camp a couple days ago and in initial testing, it was revealed that he had more body fat than most of his teammates. This, after he spent part of the summer training with fitness and diet fanatic Gary Roberts. Yikes!

"His body fat today is probably in the bottom three to five guys in our whole camp and that's unacceptable," Marlies head coach Dallas Eakins lamented to an unusually large throng of media not covering NHL camps, sparking a furor.

And making us think, didn't we go through this with Kyle Wellwood?

Anyhoo, the bombastic Cherry – without his Saturday night CBC soapbox – took to Twitter today and here’s what he had to say:

“I have never in my life seen a kid treated like Nazem Kadri by the Leafs. It started in his first training camp where he led the team in…

“scoring but was blasted for his defensive faults. They don’t blast Kulemin who scored 7 goals. They give him 5 million dollars. Now the…

“Marlie coach comes out and rips Kadri in the newspaper saying he doesn’t eat properly. Imagine headlines saying he’s chubby and fatso.

“If anyone wants to get a blue print on how to destroy someone, just follow the Toronto Maple Leafs.”

Hopefully, Jessica Simpson or Charles Barkley will reach out to Kadri with a show of support. Stay tuned...

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[html]Veteran character actor Michael Biehn is set to follow his directorial debut The Victim with Tapped, a Canadian feature described by its creators as “Karate Kid meets Warrior.” Those creators have passed along to TORO the film’s first still, viewable above, with Biehn as badass karate instructor Reggie. He looks uncannily like my childhood jiu jitsu teacher, only without the truly un-badass pony tail and goofy pierced ears.

Also check out a second still, with Reggie deep in thought while his student (Cody Hackman) prepares to clock him (evidently - I haven't seen the movie yet), viewable below.

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They say that a musician sounds like the city they come from. If that's so, then Toronto's vanguard hip hop ambassador is surely k-os. Much like his hometown, k-os's music is a collision of North American street bravado and cosmopolitan idealism. On November 27, that musical tradition continues with the release of k-os's fourth long player, BLack on BLonde.

The project — the first double album from a Canadian hip hop artist — is ambitious. One disc is a full-on rock album with k-os playing drums, bass, and guitar. The other is a collection of old school hip hop jams. If you know k-os, BLack on BLonde's scope should come as no surprise.

“People don’t generally want to take things too far," the musicians said in a release. "However, like Bob Dylan I felt trapped by my birth into the music industry as a hippy or folk hip hop singer. I’m over that feeling."

Also appearing on the album are Travie McCoy, Metric's Emily Haines, The Roots' Black Thought , Corey Hart, Sebastien Grainger, and TORO cover boy Sam Roberts.

Related >> TORO's Gallery of k-os at NXNE


Blog DRINKS
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Do you think liquor would taste better if it was poured over a hot woman’s breasts? A German liquor company, appropriately called G-Spirits, is betting that you do.

They’ve created a line of spirits – rum, whisky and vodka – where every drop has been poured on the naked breasts of a model before being bottled. No, really. Watch the video.

What kind of model exactly? Don’t fear. G-Spirits has sought boobs as premium as its spirits for this endeavour. For example, Hungary’s 2012 Playboy Playmate of the Year, Alexa Varga, is the bosom buddy of G-Spirits’ barrel-aged whisky. Each bottle comes with a certificate signed by the models. And it's all completely hygenic.

Of course, supply is limited to just 5,000 bottles, each costing around $180 plus shipping. Supermodels are busy women after all. They can’t spend 24/7 standing around as whisky is lovingly drizzled over their perfectly formed mounds of flesh … Sadly.

Watch the trailer (NSFW ... unless you work in Germany)

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Bat for Lashes - “All Your Gold” (From The Haunted Man, out Oct. 12)

Bat for Lashes' Natasha Khan is beautiful, and she knows it. For our benefit she does a solo-dance thing on the beach in this clip for her third album's second single "All Your Gold".



Jens Lekman - "Become Someone Else's" (From I Know What Love Isn't, out now)

Jens Lekman is less easy-on-the-eyes but provides a nice compliment to the above video. His album highlight "Become Someone's Else's" is a bit indie Jimmy Buffett, but there are no pirates or volcanos in this stark clip.



Psychic Twin - "Gonna Get Her" (Single)

Toronto just wrapped its annual all-night Nuit Blance art festival. Appropriately we start our work week with a few modern-art inspired clips. First, here’s a new single from Urbana, IL trio Psychic Twin.



Nervous Curtains - "Cats in the Dark" (From Fake Infinity, out now)

Next some spooky silhouettes from Cure-ish goth-rock group Nervous Curtains.



Daphni - "Pairs" (From Jiaolong, out Oct. 9)

And finally, some very abstract visuals from Caribou side-project Daphni.



Calvin Harris feat. Florence Welch - "Sweet Nothing" (From 18 Months, out Oct. 29)

English character actor Leo Gregory stars in this semi-narrative clip for Calvin Harris and Florence team-up "Sweet Nothing." Operatic vocals and violence herein.



The Wilderness of Manitoba - "Morning Sun" (From Island of Echoes, out now)

Tribute to Canadian cottage life or Instagram-ed Gap commercial? You decide.



AU - "Solid Gold" (From Both Lights, out now)

Summer is over, and after watching this clip from electro-pop act AU I realize I didn't nearly get enough swimming done.




Death Grips - No Love Deep Web (Full Album - Pre-release leak by artist)

Rock-rap trio Death Grips just leaked No Love Deep Web, their second album this year, apparently against the wishes of their label. It's a monster, and yeah, that black bar is actually a giant c**k. Headphones up!

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To the delight of stoners, people who think rape jokes are OK, and Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane will host the 85th Annual Academy Awards on February 24.

"It's truly an overwhelming privilege to be asked to host the Oscars," said the ​Family Guy ​creator. "My thoughts upon hearing the news were, one, I will do my utmost to live up to the high standards set forth by my predecessors; and two, I hope they don't find out I hosted the Charlie Sheen Roast."

Producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron made the announcement this morning from Hollywood. "We are thrilled to have Seth MacFarlane host the Oscars," Zadan and Meron "said" in unison via press release. "His performing skills blend perfectly with our ideas for making the show entertaining and fresh."

We're guessing that by "fresh," the producers mean that the show will not suck, as it so heartily has for the better part of this century. Aside from Chris Rock and maybe Jon Stewart, recent Oscar hosts have been flatter than Church. MacFarlane is famous for his outrageous humour, but will he be any good after ABC's decency police render him toothless?

As popular as MacFarlne is (even with smart people), we've never been taken by him. There's something to be said about writing that respects nuance, develops characters, constructs a solid narrative, and doesn't resort to offending everyone — and MacFarlane has nothing to say about this type of writing.

But then again, neither do the Oscars.

Related >> TORO Reviews Ted

Related >> TORO's Gallery of Canadian Oscar Winners

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A couple months ago, TORO reported that Johnny Depp would star in director Wes Anderson's newest feature, ​The Grand Budapest Hotel​. According to Anderson we were wrong, the Internet sucks, and we should never trust any human ever again.

In a conversation with hard ball linkers ​The Huffington Post, Anderson shot down the rumours surrounding Depp's involvement. "You know, the Internet has a way of announcing things on its own," he said. "Johnny is somebody who I would love to work with at some point, but he's not going to be in this movie." The director has not officially announced who will be in his film.

So while several actors have confirmed their involvement with ​The Grand Budapest Hotel​, we just can't believe them until Anderson says so.

Angela Lansbury said that she will be in the film, but she's old and must be mistaken, right? Jude Law told MTV that Anderson had offered him a role, but MTV hasn't been good since the early 90's and are not credible. How can we trust these people when trust got us into this mess in the first place?

This whole Depp fiasco is a bitter lesson learned for the TORO staff. We were so confident in our indie casting clairvoyance that we lost sight of our principles — our dedication to truth, fairness, and the destruction of celebrity ego. Our mistake can never be undone, and we can only take shameful refuge in the bag of cat treats sitting in the TORO HQ kitchen.

Related >> TORO Reviews Moonrise Kingdom


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Woody Allen and Groucho Marx — two of the funniest men in the history of ever — were pen pals. We'll give you a second to clean your brains off the screen and shove them back up your nose.

If you watch Allen's films, you'll know that the Marx Brothers had a huge impact on the director. (In Hannah and Her Sisters, the elation of watching Duck Soup actually stops Woody's character from killing himself.) But not many people know that Allen and Marx actually maintained a correspondence.

And now, on the 48th anniversary of Harpo Marx's death, we present you a letter From Groucho to Woody, only one of two ever published. Please enjoy — it's a sincere sensation.

"March 22, 1967

Dear WW:

Goodie Ace told some unemployed friend of mine that you were disappointed or annoyed or happy or drunk that I hadn't answered the letter you wrote me some years ago. You know, of course, there is no money in answering letters—unless they're letters of credit from Switzerland or the Mafia. I write you reluctantly, for I know you are doing six things simultaneously — five including sex. I don't know where you get the time to correspond.

Your play, I trust, will still be running when I arrive in New York the first or second week in April. This must be terribly annoying to the critics who, if I remember correctly, said it wouldn't go because it was too funny. Since it's still running, they must be even more annoyed. This happened to my son's play, on which he collaborated with Bob Fisher. The moral is: don't write a comedy that makes an audience laugh.

This critic problem has been discussed ever since I was Bar Mitzvahed almost 100 years ago. I never told this to anyone, but I received two gifts when I emerged from childhood into what I imagine today is manhood. An uncle, who was then in the money, presented me with a pair of long black stockings, and an aunt, who was trying to make me, gave me a silver watch. Three days after I received these gifts, the watch disappeared. The reason it was gone was that my brother Chico didn't shoot pool nearly as well as he thought he did. He hocked it at a pawnshop at 89th Street and Third Avenue. One day while wandering around aimlessly, I discovered it hanging in the window of the hock shop. Had not my initials been engraved on the back, I wouldn't have recognized it, for the sun had tarnished it so completely it was now coal black. The stockings, which I had worn for a week without ever having them washed, were now a mottled green. This was my total reward for surviving 13 years.

And that, briefly, is why I haven't written you for some time. I'm still wearing the stockings—they're not my stockings anymore, they're just parts of my leg.

You wrote that you were coming out here in February, and I, in a frenzy of excitement, purchased so much delicatessen that, had I kept it in cold cash instead of cold cuts, it would have taken care of my contribution to the United Jewish Welfare Fund for 1967 and '68.

I think I'll be at the St. Regis hotel in New York. And for God's sake don't have any more success — it's driving me crazy. My best to you and your diminutive friend, little Dickie.

Groucho"

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Rapper-singer-writer-revolutionary-whatever Azealia Banks has just dropped a new video with decidedly less C-words and decidedly more budget. "Luxury," a "film" by Clarence Fuller, is a stylish black and white adventure around New York City with the requisite stone-faced background dancers and skyscraper curtain walls. (Hey, Choclair's been doing that since 1999!) Supposedly, it's a tribute to Gotham, but what isn't these days?

We're not sure if Banks is a genius like them music blogs say, but she makes infectious music. Her schizophrenic style is hard categorize, which is probably a good thing considering that 90 percent of pop music these days sounds the same. We suppose Banks is like Old Dirty Bastard's sober, hipster sister, but let's not overthink this. Enjoy!

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Canadian Chef Rob Feenie will bring his Cactus Club Café chain of restaurants to Ontario next year with its first location at First Canadian Place, Canada's tallest skyscraper and headquarters of BMO Bank of Montreal. Feenie hopes his "West Coast casual fine dining" will be a hit in Hogtown.

“The restaurant industry in Ontario, and particularly in Toronto, is a discerning one," says Cactus Restaurants president and founder Richard Jaffray, "and we look forward to introducing them to our concept of upscale yet informal dining.”

The Cactus menu focuses on local, sustainable ingredents. The chain already has 22 locations in British Columbia and Alberta.

Feenie is perhaps most famous for being the first Canadian chef to appear on Iron Chef America where he defeated demigod Masaharu Morimoto in "Battle Crab" — so you know the man's got chops.

Related >> Anthony Sedlak's Vancouver Restaurant Picks

Related >> WATCH Kevin Brauch Make a Black Russian

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The second and final season of Anthony Bourdain's The Layover premieres November 19 on the Travel Channel and will finally feature Toronto. The show follows Bourdain as he visits a city for a maximum of 48 hours, and tries to shove in as much fun (read: booze, food, shenanigans) as possible. Unlike his more narrative-driven show No Reservations, also wrapping up its final season, The Layover is supposed to be a "useful" guide for the average tourist.

This season, Bourdain also visits Chicago, Atlanta, Dublin, New Orleans, Paris, Philadelphia, Sao Paolo, Seattle, and Taipe.

Bourdain's Toronto visit is overdue. For years, he avoided filming in Hogtown on the advice of chefs from Vancouver and Montreal who claimed Toronto was not exciting from a culinary perspective. But after several delightful visits to the city, Bourdain changed his mind and shot in Toronto this summer. Filming locations included the St. Lawrence Market, Ronnie's Local 069, and the Black Hoof (pictured above, shoving a bone marrow luge down Bourdain's throat).

In case you've been living under a Buick and have no idea what Bourdain does, check out the video below. It's disgusting, in a good way.

Related >> Anthony Bourdain Has No Reservations About CNN

Related >> Anthony Bourdain and Nigella Lawson to Host ABC Reality Show


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