FRIDAY NOVEMBER 24, 2017
 
INSIDE TORO
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A new poster (below) for Zack Snyder's Superman re-imagining Man of Steel has just been released, and it raises a lot of questions.

The poster depicts an out-of-focus Superman (Henry Cavill) in handcuffs, surrounded by soldiers. Has he been captured by the United States? Why isn't he beating the crap out of all of them? Is his package real of stuffed?

What we do know about the new movie: Superman has to fight a gang of Kryptonians led by the evil General Zod, played by Michael Shannon. Rounding out the cast are Amy Adams, Russell Crowe, Diane Lane, Kevin Costner, and Laurence Fishburne. The Dark Knight Rises director Christopher Nolan is producing the film, based on a script by David S. Goyer.

Snyder, for his part, has proven to be a mixed bag of busted nuts. He's shown flashes genuine talent, but lacks the ability to tell a story without resorting to juvenile cliches, or a tiresome combination of slow-motion and cartoon violence. Will he deliver with The Man of Steel?

A trailer for the the film debuts next week, so we might have to wait until then to get some answers.

Related >> WATCH Two Teasers for the New Superman Film

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In an act of great benevolence and piety, the mechanics that operate Pope Benedict XVI's arms created an official Twitter account for his holiness this morning.

The pope already has close to 300,000 followers, well short of religious rival Justin Bieber, but well more than God himself.

Most of Benedict's tweets will be written by an aide and drawn from weekly general audiences, Sunday blessings, and homilies. Tweets will also react to major world events, like earthquakes, homophobic lynchings, and other things that call God's existence into question.

Says a Vatican spokesperson on the move to Twitter: "It's cost-effective and not very labour-intensive, and it is aimed at young people." (Just like the libidos of so many Catholic priests.) That's great. the most powerful religious organization in the world is trying to woo a new generation without doing any work.

Last year, the pope praised the possibilities of social networking, but warned of the dangers of having too many virtual friends, as opposed to invisible ones that live in the sky.

Related >> Benetton's Ads Are Back and the Pope Ain't Happy

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In the spirit of Movember, we present the latest episode of Subculture Club from our friends Thrash Lab — an exclusive look at the annual World Beard and Moustache Championships, held this year in Las Vegas (video below).

The championships are a celebration of facial hair and draw contestants from all over the world, each of them specializing in a specific style of 'stache. Categories include the Natural Moustache (moustache may be styled but without any aids), the Imperial Partial Beard (hair grown only on cheeks and upper lip), and the Natural Goatee (hair grown only on chin and the upper and lower lip).

If the video is any indication, the event is more a forum for bortherhood than outright competition. "It's like a family reunion, but you have fun and want to go to it," one contestant says.

And remember, that's what Movember's all about: Brotherhood.

TORO is a big supporter of men's health issues, and we hope you've had a happy, safe Movember. Please support TORO's Movember team here and continue to raise men's health awareness throughout the coming year.

Related >> Listed: 13 Memorable Movie Moustaches | Gallery: The Bearded Gentlemen

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Last night Rajon Rondo did what every person in North America has wanted to do for years: fight Mr. Kim Kardashian himself, Kris Humphries. Rondo started the in-audience brawl after Humphries delivered a hard foul on the Boston Celtics' Kevin Garnett, seconds before halftime. Both Humphries and Rondo were ejected from the game to think about they had done.

With his ejection, Rondo ended a 37-game streak of posting at least 10 assists, just nine games short of Magic Johnson's record of 46. Rondo had three assists at the time of the altercation. Known around the NBA for having an ego just notch below God, the Celtics point guard had been accused of padding his stats in recent weeks to break Johnson's record. 

Well, now it looks like he'll have to start from scratch.

Speaking of scratches: After the game, Humphries tweeted pictures of his scars from the altercation. Was he fighting Rondo or a feral cat?

Related >> Nets Get Fresh Start in Brooklyn | Lakers Make Safe Choice in D'Antoni

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Every year, our friends at The Hollywood Reporter corral the directors most likely to win that year's Oscar and force them to talk about the agony and ecstasy of being the big boss. Witness below 2012's full, uncensored directors round table featuring Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained), Ben Affleck (Argo), Ang Lee (Life of Pi), David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook), Gus Van Sant (Promised Land), and Tom Hooper (Les Miserables).

The discussion is more therapy than a symposiumon on craft. Each director talks about their struggle with self-doubt, confronting disappointment, battling vanity-case actors, and pathos, pathos, pathos. Long story short: Directing is damn hard.

Interestingly, Lee is the only director in the round table who has actually won an Oscar for directing. And though we haven't yet seen Tarantino's Southern slave cowboy epic Django, we hope it finally brings him the glory he so obviously covets. (Just look at his face when he lost to Kathryn Bigelow a few years ago.)

Related >> TORO Reviews Life of Pi | Who Will Direct the New Star Wars Movies?

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In partnership with their fans, Radiohead has released a high-quality video recording of their entire September 29, 2011 concert at the Roseland Ballroom in New York City (below, with setlist). The band provided the audio from the soundboard while various audience members provided the visuals via phone cameras.

The video, made by YouTube user Allbearsrule, is dedicated to crew member Scott Johnson, who was killed in Toronto this past June when Radiohead's concert stage collapsed.

If you enjoy the show, Allbearsrule suggests you donate to any or all of the following charitable causes: Oxfam's Haiti Earthquake Relief, the Red Cross's Hurricane Sandy Relief, or Doctors Without Borders.

Related >> Listed: 6 Concerts Gone Wrong | TORO Reviews The King of Limbs

Setlist:
“Bloom”
“Little by Little”
“Staircase”
“The National Anthem”
“Feral”
“Subterranean Homesick Alien”
“Like Spinning Plates”
“All I Need”
“True Love Waits/Everything in Its Right Place”
“15 Step”
“Weird Fishes/Arpeggi”
“Lotus Flower”
“Codex”
“The Daily Mail”
“Morning Mr. Magpie”
“Reckoner”

Encores:
“Give Up the Ghost”
“Myxomatosis”
“Bodysnatchers”
“Supercollider”
“Nude”

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In what can only be described as the most disgusting thing since watching your grandparents have sex, TORO presents to you a video a young woman "flipping" an ass implant back into place. You can watch the cultural spectacle below.

"This is my implant flipping backwards," says the woman in the video. "I don't think an implant's supposed to do that."

When it comes to editorial integrity, you know that Daily TORO always pushes high standards. Butt-chugging; Wayne Gretzky's daughter's breasts; beauty queen prostitutes; we didn't go to the finest journalism school in the country to write that sprawling New Yorker shlock!

Oh come on, you love looking at that deformed, crusty, Leviathan of a booty, like corpses rotting on the side of a dirt road.

“Look for yourselves, you evil wretches, take your fill of the beautiful sight.”

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Like most things that are culturally relevant and not harmful to humanity, Bill O'Reilly does not get "Gangnam Style." In the wake of the song becoming the most viewed YouTube video of all-time, O'Reilly invited "doctor" Keith Ablow on his show to explain why it happened. Please, watch the encounter below as we stab ourselves in our balls.

Ablow believes the video is so successful because people who use the Internet (are there people who don't?) are vacuous, yahoos looking to be entertained by videos that mean "nothing" and are "like drugs." This coming from a psychiatrist who Gawker points out "resigned in protest" from the American Psychiatric Association over a disagreement on what constitutes mental illness.

(That's OK Keith, as Tom Cruise says, psychiatry is just a "pseudoscience," anyway.)

O'Reilly and Ablow agree that unlike Elvis and Justin Bieber, Psy doesn't use "intelligible words." He's speaking Korean, you handicapped gorillas!

O'Reilly then goes on to call Psy "a little fat guy from Pyongyang." Does anyone else find that comment extremely fucking offensive mildly rude for mainstream television?

We already knew that O'Reilly hates the left wing loons at the New York Times and, broadly, anyone trying to make the world a better place. But does he have to hate fun, too?

Related >> Listed: Awful People, Admirable Beliefs | His Worship Rob Ford Gets Gangnam-Styled

Blog DAILY TORO
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In what must be the most devastating invasion since the Third Reich unleashed the Blitzkrieg on Stalingrad, Food Network wind-up doll Guy Fieri has landed in Toronto. May God have mercy on us all.

Fieri is in Hogtown to this week to host Chef's Challenge, an annual charity event for Mount Sinai cancer research (good), but he's also in Toronto to film his television show Diner's, Drive-Ins and Dives (bad).

"Headin' north to Toronto for some international DDD joints," he said via Twitter. "Gonna be a good one."

Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives profiles restaurants that generally serve comfort food, although the show is mostly just moneyshots of Fieri deepthroating mammoth-sized briskets and corndogs.

Already confirmed for the show is TORO favourite Caplansky's Delicatessen, a smoked meat temple and purveyor of traditional Jewish food. Toronto Life claims the Stockyards will also be featured. And co-owner of the Lakeview diner, Alex Sengupta, has confirmed that Fieri will visit his restaurant, and six Toronto joints in total.

Fieri's megaphone mouth, Ice Man haircut, and lack of, well, any culinary talent, has made him a punching bag for many a people with functioning frontal lobes. His recently opened New York City restaurant — the "Terror Dome" as Anthony Bourdain calls it — drew terrible reviews, becoming a trending topic around the world.

Still, it's nice to see local restaurants get international exposure. We wish our culinary brothers courage and endurance, because handling a personality like Fieri's is a war of attrition, if not a nuclear fallout.

Related >> WATCH Zane Caplansky Fry Like a Guy | WATCH Zane Caplansky Make Maple Bacon Donuts (Bitches)

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Ceel Lo Green has just released a new holiday video (below) for his song "All I Need Is Love," starring everyone's favourite gang, the Muppets!

Directed by Marc Klasfield, the video sees Cee Lo partying with the whole crew on his way to Atlanta. Look out for cameos from ("You're a doorman! Doorman!") Craig Robinson and Co-Lo, the singer's Muppet incarnation.

We'd like to see more Swedish Chef, but what can you do.

Related >> Talking to Jason Segel about The Muppets

Blog DAILY TORO
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For years, Toronto has lagged behind cities like Vancouver in the food truck game, mostly because Hogtown's politicians are uninformed provincialists with no idea about what makes a thriving food culture.

But have no fear, enlightened Toronto foodies! Kung Fu Taco has just announced that they will open their first permanent food truck February 2013.

As their name suggests, Kung Fu Taco sells Asian fusion creations in taco form. Their 10-item menu includes tacos with shredded pork shoulder, grouper fillets, and fried tofu, as well as banh mi sliders and a special poutine made with spicy pork and kimchi.

Owner Alexander Rodrigues recently told BlogTO that he is confident Torontonians will embrace his concept. "We fit in [the market] well," said Rodrigues, "and there's not really anyone doing what we're doing."

Kung Fu Taco will service downtown Toronto and Hamilton.

Related >> WATCH "The Rise of the Food Truck" | WATCH Vancouver's Roaming Dragon Make Pork Belly Sliders

Blog DAILY TORO
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Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom won Best Feature at last night's Gotham Independent Film Awards, the first major awards ceremony leading up to the Academy Awards. Other winners included Benh Zeitlin for Best Breakthrough Ditector and Your Sister's Sister for Best Ensemble Performance.

While the event aims to celebrate little known American works, many winners have gone on to have success at the Oscars. The last three films to win Gotham's top prize, Winter's Bone, The Tree of Life, and The Hurt Locker, all received Best Picture Oscar nominations. The latter film took home the top prize at the 2009 Academy Awards.

All of the Gotham winners are listed below in bold, along with their fellow nominees.

Related >> TORO Reviews Moonrise Kindgom | Talking to Benh Zeitlin


BEST FEATURE
Bernie
The Loneliest Planet
The Master
Middle of Nowhere
Moonrise Kingdom

BEST ENSEMBLE PERFORMANCE
Bernie
Moonrise Kingdom
Safety Not Guaranteed
Silver Linings Playbook
Your Sister's Sister

BEST BREAKTHROUGH ACTOR/ACTRESS
Mike Birbiglia - Sleepwalk With Me
Emayatzy Corinealdi - Middle of Nowhere
Thure Lindhart - Keep The Lights On
Melanie Lynskey - Hello, I Must Be Going
Quvenzhane Wallis - Beasts Of The Southern Wild

BEST BREAKTHROUGH DIRECTOR
Zal Batmanglij - Sound Of My Voice
Brian M. Cassidy and Melanie Shatzky - Francine
Jason Cortlund and Julia Halperin - Now, Forager
Antonio Mendez Esparza - Aqui y Alla
Benh Zeitlin - Beasts of the Southern Wild

BEST DOCUMENTARY
Detropia
How To Survive A Plague
Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present
Room 237
The Waiting Room

BEST FILM NOT PLAYING AT A THEATRE NEAR YOU
Kid-Thing
An Oversimplification Of Her Beauty
Red Flag
Sun Don't Shine
Tiger Tail In Blue

AUDIENCE AWARD
Artifact
Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Burn
Once In A Lullaby: PS-22 Chorus Story
The Invisible War

TRIBUTE AWARDS
Marion Cotillard
Matt Damon
David O Russell
Jeff Skoll

BINGHAM RAW AWARD
Beasts Of The Southern Wild

EUPHORIA CALVEN KLEIN SPOTLIGHT ON WOMEN FILMMAKERS 'LIVE THE DREAM" GRANT
Stacie Passon

Blog DAILY TORO
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The war on fun rages on. A new Pediatrics study claims that at least 30 children are sent to the emergency room every day with bouncy castle-related injuries. The study, written by a team of American doctors with nothing better to do, calls for more safety regulation with regards to the inflatable play-things.

The most common bouncy castle-related injuries include broken bones, sprains, cuts, and concussions, usually brought on by in-flight collisions or children falling out of the contraption.

The rate at which children are hurting themselves in these death machines has skyrocketed from 702 in 1995, to 11,311 in 2010. And the study doesn't even mention the untold millions of children hiding their injuries in shame and regret for fear of ostraciization and social prejudice!

"I was surprised by the number, especially by the rapid increase in the number of injuries,” said lead author Dr. Gary Smith. And we're surprised, Dr. Smith, that you have a job. You know, Canada could use a few more doctors to help actually sick people.

Smith goes on to say that America's current bounce crisis "underscores the need for guidelines for safer bouncer usage and improvements in bouncer design to prevent these injuries among children."

We know that most children pre-pubes are only a handful of brain cells away from being chimpanzees, but getting hurt is part of growing up. If you're going keep children from doing dumb stuff on bouncy castles you might as well breastfeed them too.

Oh. Oh damn.

Blog DAILY TORO
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This morning, Toronto mayor Rob Ford was removed from office for being, well, an idiot. Naturally, Twitter had something say about it. Below, TORO presents a round-up of the best Rob Ford-related Tweets.

Related >> Toronto's Rob Ford Removed from Office | His Worship Rob Ford Gets Gangnam-Styled

George Smitherman (@G_Smitherman): "Touchdown for accountability. #TOpoli #Toronto #TOCouncil"

Calum Marsh (@CalumMarsh): "CITY-APPOINTED ANARCHIC JUDGE SCARECROW TRIES MAYOR ROB FORD IN KANGAROO COURT, SENTENCES HIM TO EXILE ACROSS ICY RIVER."

Sue-Ann Levy (@SueAnnLevy): "Whether Ford did it to himself or not, lefties will see this as a victory and a return to the good times at City Hall. #taxpayerssuffer

Michael Balazo (@MBalazo): "Out of loyalty to their fallen hero, Rob Ford's supporters will each door a cyclist at noon."

Don Cherry Parody (@DonCherryParody): "YKNOW I GUESS ALL THE HIPPY PINKOS ARE CELEBRATIN RIDIN THEIR BIKES AROUND TARANNA SINCE THEYRE ALL UNEMPLOYED BUMS AND EVERYTHINK LIKE THAT"

Hulk Mayor (@HulkMayor): "YOU WIN THS ROUND CLAYTON RUBY. WE SEE WHO LAUGHING NEXT TIME YOU FOOTBALL TEAM NEED FREE TTC BUS OR GET POTHOLE FIX #TOpoli"

Steve Murray (@NPSteve): "How do we get a new mayor? Well, when a mommy mayor and a daddy mayor love each other very much..."

NOW Magazine (@NowToronto): "Mayor Ford blames verdict on "left wing politics," the rule of law being one of the socialist fringe's pet causes. #FordCourt"

Second City Toronto (@SecondCityTO): This whole "removed from office" thing would be much funnier if it involved a trap door or a spring-loaded ejection seat. #RobFord

Gary Pearson (@CaptainPearson): At tomorrow's Grey Cup parade, the Mayor will be played by Clint Eastwood's chair. #RobFord

Blog DAILY TORO
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In what will go down as a triumph for decency, reason, and humanity's lasting moral capacity in the 21st Century, Toronto mayor Rob Ford has been found guilty on a conflict of interest and will be removed from office.

Justice Charles Hackland has granted the Penguin — we mean Ford — a 14-day stay before deputy mayor Doug Holyday is assumed to take power. Hackland had the option of banning Ford from runnning for up to seven years, but he decided to be a benevolent God and just give Ford a time out to think about what he's done.

Ford was found in violation of the Municipal Conflict of Interest Act. In 2010, council's integrity commissioner claimed Ford was wrong to solicit donations for his high school football team using city resources. The mayor then ignored six orders from the commissioner to repay the $3,150 dollars to lobbyists and voted against the repayment.

The Municipal Conflict of Interest Act clearly states that an elected official cannot speak to, or vote upon, items in which they have a "pecuniary interest." Long story short: Ford is a wilfully ignorant shlub who has no idea how to do his job.

Prosecution lawyer and force for good in the world Clayton Ruby had this to say about Ford: "As mayor he ought to have had a clear understanding of his obligations. This entire pattern of conduct shows that he chose to remain ignorant, and substituted his own view for that of the law."

That Ruby even has to reiterate such a statement speaks to the monumental idiocy of a man living in a vacuum free from responsibility and self-awareness. But today justice has been served.

Related >> His Worship Rob Ford Gets Gangnam-Styled

Blog DAILY TORO
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We're not surprised that most the Black Friday madness that cropped up on YouTube last week centered around Walmart stores.

Wonder if it's part of a secret guerilla advertising campaign? After all, no attention is bad attention, right?

As you celebrate Cyber Monday today, enjoying deep savings — and practising safe shopping, of course — from the comfort of your home or office, take a break and enjoy this look back at Black Friday 2012! Do you think these people know that Walmart has online shopping?

And for all you economics grads, we think these are a much better illustration of supply and demand than guns and butter.

FIGHTING FOR XBOXES


FIGHTING FOR PHONES


FIGHTING FOR, UM, TOWELS


AND JUST PLAIN FIGHTING

Related >> Marc Saltzman's Safe Shopping Basics | TORO's Amex Holiday Hotlist Picks

Blog DAILY TORO
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[html] Ah, Black Friday. The day when our neighbours to the south — all full of turkey and college football from their Thursday Thanksgiving Day celebrations — throw holiday spirit out the door to battle for crazy bargains.

Unlike here, where retailers began replacing Halloween decor at 12.01 a.m. on November 1, Black Friday marks the beginning of holiday shopping season in America.

Here's a look at folks fighting at Walmart over phones to let you see what you're missing:

Us? We’ll stick to shopping online thank you very much. Cyber Monday, where North Americans are expected to shell out $9 billion this year, is much more civilized. Click. Save. Done. Check back Monday to see our Best of Black Friday Mayhem and remember, practice safe shopping ...

Blog DAILY TORO
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The last time Star Wars appeared on Daily TORO, we listed all of the great directors who wanted nothing to do with the new trilogy, and some of the lesser directors who were still available to run the show.

This time, we focus on the potential storyline of the new movies, given what little facts have been confirmed by Disney and Lucasfilm.

Concerning screenwriters, Michael Arndt of Toy Story 3 and Little Miss Sunshine fame, will write the screenplay for Episode VII. Arndt is a solid choice if only because he is not George Lucas. Lawrence Kasdan (The Empire Strikes Back) and Simon Kinberg (Sherlock Holmes) have been tapped to write episodes eight and nine, solid choices because they are, again, not George Lucas.

But what will be the triolgy's central story?

In a recent interview, producer and president of Lucasfilm Kathleen Kennedy stated that the new movies are not beholden to storylines of the "Expanded Universe" — the mixed barf bag of nuts that includes Star Wars novels, video games, comics, and that bloated cartoon series for kids.

"[The new trilogy] is not like...Harry Potter where you've got a template of what the stories might be," said Kennedy. "These are original stories and original ideas that come out of a world that essentially is in George's head."

In the 1970s, Lucas actually envisioned Star Wars as a 12-part series, and planned on Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher to reprise their roles in Episode VII. And Lucas recently met with Hamill and Fisher to discuss their possible involvement in the new movies. 

In summary, the Dark Side of Disney and Lucasfilm clouds everything, but the confirmed facts — however few there may be — are both telling and important. What we do know as this: So long as Lucas doesn't touch the new trilogy with a 10-foot lightsabre, they'll probably turn out all right.

Related >> Who Will Direct the New Star Wars Movies?

Blog DAILY TORO
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Yesterday, the Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne shut down Oklahoma City Airport after a gold-painted "non-explodable" grenade (as he called it) was detected by the X-ray machine in his bag. Needless to say, the bomb squad came in, shit hit the fan, and a hundreds of travellers were pissed.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry [to] everyone that was inconvenienced because of my grenade at the OKC airport," Coyne tweeted. Usually when someone says something like that, they're promptly sent to a corner in Guantanamo to think about what they've done.

Fresh from his strip search and anal inspection, Coyne recently told Pitchfork that the crisis was a misunderstanding, brought on from a night of heavy debauchery. The grenade, as it turned out, was a souvenir from a wild house party held the night before the flight.

"[The airport security] all believed it was just a dumb accident," said Coyne. "I would agree that it was stupid of me, but I don't feel wholly responsible if people missed their flights. I'm not making the rules. It's not illegal for me to have that grenade with me." This guy is just asking for a terrorist time out!

In all seriousness, anyone's who's ever done acid and gone to a Flaming Lips show would know that Coyne doesn't have a malevolent bone in his body. Do they realize that this is the man who got Justin Timberlake to dance in a dolphin outfit that was "smelling of sex?"'

"They all believed what I was saying; they all believed it was just a dumb accident. The bomb squad guy came out, and once he comes out, there's two weeks of paperwork that has to be filled out. Everybody could immediately tell what it was. But it's too late — the merry-go-round had to go its whole way around before you could get off."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/337367#ixzz2CtOZgj9T
"They all believed what I was saying; they all believed it was just a dumb accident. The bomb squad guy came out, and once he comes out, there's two weeks of paperwork that has to be filled out. Everybody could immediately tell what it was. But it's too late — the merry-go-round had to go its whole way around before you could get off."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/337367#ixzz2CtOZgj9T

Related >> TORO Reviews Flaming Lips and Heady Fwends
Related >> The Flaming Lips at Osheaga 2011


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