SATURDAY MAY 27, 2017
 
INSIDE TORO
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Tomorrow, Thomas Lavers Cannery and Delicatessen opens in Toronto's historic Kensington Market. The shop specializes in handmade canned, cured, and pickled products.

The store is owned by Tye Thomas (of classic Kensington dive Ronnie's Local 069) and Bryan Lavers (formerly of rustic resto Grace).

Thomas Lavers represents another step forward for Toronto's coming of age as a food destination and will add good things to the fabric of an already rich neighbourhood. As any foodie can attest, properly aged food is a thing of wonder. And contrary to what grocery stores will have you believe, a lot of food only gets better in the can. Watch below if you don't believe us.

Thomas Lavers Cannery and Delicatessen, 193 Baldwin Street, Toronto

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According to our atheist allies at the Christian Post, a man has died doing the "Gangnam Style" dance.

(Why are we laughing so hard?)

Forty-six-year-old Briton Eamonn Kilbride experienced acute heart failure and died while attempting the dance at an office Christmas party.

"He was a great family man and he worked so hard," said Kilbride's wife, Julie. "Eamonn was always the life of the party and loved dancing."

Wow. After Elvis's death on the toilet, and the surprise demise of Wiarton Willie, could there be worse headline associated with one's death? Admitedly we're part of the problem, but hey, we get paid to write this stuff. What's your excuse for being here?

For a group of people in Lancashire England, "Gangnam Style" will forever exist as song of sorrow.

But because there's no such thing as "too much of a good thing," here for the 941,718,408th time, is Psy's "Gangnam Style":

Related >> Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Get "Gangnam Style" | His Worship Rob Ford Gets Gangnam-Styled

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In a move that will surely spawn cholesteatoma pandemics and make poor orphans become child soldiers, Avril Lavigne has covered Nickelback's "How You Remind Me."

Mrs. Chud Kroeger did us all the favour of adding a piano track and backing vocals to the worst thing to come out of a trailer park since domestic violence.

If you're a sadomasochistic zombie or enjoy terrible things, you can listen to the song below. 

For the rest of you with any sense of moral fortitude, TORO apologizes.

Related >> Music: TORO Reviews Nickelback's Here and Now (Sorry)

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Holy shit! The nominees for the 70th Golden Globe Awards have just been announced! Finally, we can predict who will win at the second-best award show in Hollywood hosted by the third- and fourth-best comedians to anchor Weekend Update!

Leading the pack with bribes nominations are the films Argo, Les Misérables, and Lincoln, and the television shows Breaking Bad, Girls, and Downtown Abbey. Also, no one cares.

Fittingly, Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master is missing from the Best Picture and Best Director categories, proving once again that award shows are dumb and that you should read books instead of watching them.

The list of nominees (longer than that spaceship in Star Wars) is below the seriously unfunny Tina Fey and Amy Poehler preview.

Daily TORO: The 2012 Emmys — Who Cares?


Best Picture, Drama
Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Zero Dark Thirty

Best Picture, Musical or Comedy
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Les Misérables
Moonrise Kindgom
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Silver Linings Playbook

Best Director
Ben Affleck, Argo
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Best Actor, Musical or Comedy
Jack Black, Bernie
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Ewan McGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Bill Murray, Hyde Park on Hudson

Best Actress, Musical or Comedy
Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Maggie Smith, Quartet
Meryl Streep, Hope Springs

Best Actress, Drama
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea

Best Actor, Drama
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Richard Gere, Arbitrage
John Hawkes, The Sessions
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy

Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, Argo
Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Screenplay
Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Chris Terrio, Argo

Foreign Language Film
Amour
A Royal Affair
The Intouchables
Kon-Tiki
Rust and Bone

Best Television Drama
Breaking Bad
Boardwalk Empire
Downton Abbey
Homeland
The Newsroom

Best Television Comedy or Musical
The Big Bang Theory
Episodes
Girls
Modern Family
Smash

Best Actress, Television Drama
Connie Britton, Nashville
Glenn Close, Damages
Claire Danes, Homeland
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Juliana Margulies, The Good Wife

Best Actor, Television Drama
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Damian Lewis, Homeland

Best Actress, Television Comedy or Musical
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Lena Dunham, Girls
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Best Actor, Television Comedy or Musical
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Louis C.K., Louie
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Best Supporting Actress, Television
Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Asylum
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Best Supporting Actor, Television
Max Greenfield, New Girl
Ed Harris, Game Change
Danny Huston, Magic City
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Best Miniseries or Television Movie
Game Change
The Girl
Hatfields & McCoys
The Hour
Political Animals

Best Actor, Miniseries or Television Movie
Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys

Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock

Woody Harrelson, Game Change

Toby Jones, The Girl

Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Best Actress, Miniseries or Television Movie
Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum

Sienna Miller, The Girl

Julianne Moore, Game Change

Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals

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See that dark, crusty, potato-looking thing above? That's one of the many giant monsters attacking Earth in Guillermo del Toro's forthcoming film Pacific Rim. The movie (basically Power Rangers with a bigger budget and more attractive people) pits human-piloted giant robots against said monsters in a battle for Earth. You can watch the trailer below.

Pacific Rim stars Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Ron Perlman, Charlie Day, and Rinko Kikuchi. Oh, and the monsters of course.

The film was shot at Toronto's Pinewood Studios this past year and is one of the most expensive films ever made in Canada. (If you squint for a second, you'll see the opening shot of the trailer was filmed behind Toronto's city hall.)

TORO will be interviewing del Toro about his new film soon, so stay tuned for the conversation.

Related >> Daily TORO: The Pacific Rim Poster

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Toronto punk band Fucked Up have just dropped a new video (below) for "Inside a Frame," the 15th track off their much-lauded album, David Comes to Life.

The 2009 Polaris Prize winners have surprised us again. Imagine if West Side Story was set in post-industrial America and starred only hipsters. That's what this looks feels like.

Musically, "Inside the Frame" is something else entirely. The song's classic Clash-style riffage becomes completely subverted by frontman Damian Abraham's screaming sandpaper vocals. It's definitely dancy (hence the choreography), but also deeply satisfying for one's inner sadist.

In other words: enjoy.

(Extra plug: And don't forget to watch Abraham this Monday on the Toronto edition of Anthony Bourdain's The Layover!He and Bourdain worship in the grease temple that is Poutini's.)

Related >> TORO Playlist: Fucked Up and More | Toronto in Bourdain's Final Season of The Layover

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A rare Belgian Trappist ale sold out in minutes at the LCBO, proving that raging alcoholism is indeed good for the economy.

One hundred and fifty people lined up at the LCBO at Toronto's Queens Quay and Yonge branch for a chance to by one of the $78.85 six-packs of Westvleteren 12, all of them selling out in four minutes. The LCBO received 1,404 six-packs and spread them out over 16 stores, like demon treasure chests of plundered booty.

Westvleteren 12 comes from a bunch of monks in the Trappist Abbey of Saint Sixtus in Vleteren, Belgium. The beer is being sold to help repair the monks' crumbling 19th century abbey. Because this is exactly what Jesus would want his disciples to do with His father's house.

The beer has never been sold in retail stores and is considered one of, if not the, best beer in the world. Better luck next time, Colt 45.

Related >> WATCH TORO's Beer WATCH | Ontario Petitions for Booze in Convenience Stores

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Tonight, Nirvana reunites to back Sir Paul McCartney at the 12-12-12 Hurricane Sandy relief concert. Surviving members Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, and touring guitarist Pat Smear have not played a live show together in over 20 years.

No Nirvana songs will be performed, but the foursome will premiere a new song they had been recording in secret. The concert will stream live tonight on the 12-12-12 website.

The group headlines a historic show already featuring performers such as the Rolling Stones (whose members may or may not be holograms), the Who, Bruce Springsteen, Kanye West, Roger Waters, Alicia Keyes, and Chris Martin. Presenters include Jamie Foxx, Chris Rock, Jon Stewart, Adam Sandler, and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Organized by movie mogul Harvey Weinstein, the 12-12-12 concert is said to have already raised $30 million for Hurricane Sandy victims. You can donate here.

Related >> Sandy Benefit Draws McCartney, The Who


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Internationally renowned Indian musician Ravi Shankar has died of apparent upper-respiratory complications. He was 92.

Born Robindro Shaunkor Chowdhury in the city of Varanasi, Shankar was already a multi-instrumentalist by his early teens, and travelled to Europe and America with his choreographer brother’s dance company. This early exposure to Western culture and music would serve him well in later decades, but Shankar’s first success was at home, composing the music for Indian filmmaker Satyajit Ray’s acclaimed Apu series.



To mainstream Western audiences Shankar was best known for his sitar playing, which would influence rock acts like The Byrds, The Rolling Stones, and The Beatles. He performed a half-hour set at Woodstock with frequent tabla accompanist Alla Rakha, but soon distanced himself from pop music.





Shankar continued to perform, tour and collaborate with international artists throughout his life. He won three Grammys, and earned an Oscar nod for his work on the film Gandhi (1982) with British composer George Fenton.

He had three children from three different relationships, including Grammy-winning pop-jazz singer Norah Jones. Jones and Shankar were estranged for many years, but reconciled and collaborated on her 2009 album The Fall.

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Amir Johnson's impending suspension will hurt the Toronto Raptors on the floor. But it may also ignite a fire in the locker room and motivate the second-worst team in the NBA to get their asses in gear.

Last night in Portland, Johnson was ejected from the game after fighting for the ball with referee David Jones. The scuffle was a misunderstanding — Johnson has a tradition of rubbing the ball before every free throw — but after he was tossed, the Raptor forward went a little funny in the head and tossed his mouthguard at Jones. Later, when pressed by the media, a dour Johnson called the sideshow "out of character" and apologized for his actions.

Johnson should not be sorry — he was pissed and he should be. The usually upstanding Raptor's unsual outbreak must be understood in context. This 2012-2013 season is probably the most disappointing in the team's history. After claiming they would make the playoffs and revamping their roster, the Raptors are 4-18 and losers of 12 straight. Fans are baffled and GM Bryan Colangelo (in his contract year) admitted he was "embarrased." Last week, Star beat grunt Doug Smith predicted someone on the team would erupt. And that's just what Johnson did.

We could use a little more anger in Toronto. Winning teams like the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat run on premium pitbulls like Kevin Garnett and LeBron James. The Raptors have developed a reputation for being "soft," "listless," "lacking stick-to-it-tiveness," and other cliche terms sports journalists use. But overcoming these weaknesses is only a matter of effort. And right now Johnson seems to be the only Raptor with any.

It's rumoured that professional dud Andrea Bargnani, perhaps the most blase dino of them all, will be traded for the Los Angeles Lakers' Pau Gasol, a firecracker in his own right. But even if this happens, the Raptors' problems are far from over. The entire team needs to focus, work hard, listen to their coach, and start giving a damn.

In other words, the Raptors need to play "out of character."

Related >> Throwin' Smoke: Colangelo's Got to Go

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The new trailer for Zack Snyder's Man of Steel has just landed, and we finally get to see Superman take off. You can watch the eye candy buffet below.

The film stars Henry Cavill in the title role, along with Amy Adams, Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, and Michael Shannon as supervillain General Zod.

We've done our fair share of poo-pooing Snyder, unsure whether the mostly juvenile director could pull off a serious interpretation of Superman. But, Man of Steel ​looks pretty badass.

Related >> The New Man of Steal Poster

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Three women dining at at a Chilly D's in Stockton, California were horrified when they discovered that a restaurant employee had identified them as "Fat Girls" on their receipt.

"I got [our] bill, and I was like, why does the receipt say, 'fat girls?' said Christina Duran. At first, Duran's friends thought she was joking, only to learn the awful truth. Duran quickly took a picture (below) and confronted restaurant management.

In an effort to calm Duran down, the restaurant initially offered them a 50 percent discount on their meal. Pissed like Denzel Washington in Training Day, Duran took to the Internet, effectively ripping Chilly D's PR team a new poopenshaft.

The perpatrator is allegedly some douche an employee known only as "Jeff." According to bar manager Jimmy Seimers, "Jeff" has been suspended and will likely be fired.

To make sure this never happens to you, check out TORO's Fat Blaster Bench Workout!

Related >> Drunk Girls Love Making Out at Club Applebee's | Man Ejected from Bar for His Mullet

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More than love or spirituality, the holidays are about getting together with people you don't like and inevitably fighting about whether Stephen Harper is in fact a tool (he is). So in the spirit of violent confrontation, we present the newest Epic Rap Battle of History: Moses vs. Santa Claus. 

This edition of ERB stars Snoop Lion as the bush-talking, Torah author Moses. His best line: "So much drama in the Israe-L B.C./It's kinda hard talking directly to the G-O single D." Seriously dope. 

By our divine estimation, Snoop laid that fat white boy on his cookie-eating ass. But remember: You decide the winner!

Related >> Listed: 7 International Santas

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In 2009, Kevin Smith claimed that his forthcoming film Hit Somebody — a hockey drama based on the awful Warren Zevon song of the same name — would be his last feature film as a director.

But with the news that Hit Somebody would instead be a miniseries and not a feature film, fans began to reinterpret the language of his 2009 statement. 

So, earlier today, Smith cleared the dust on Twitter: "With the Hit Somebody shift...my last cinematic effort as a writer/director will be Clerks III."

And 40-year-old virgins around the world rejoiced.

Jeff Anderson, who plays the character of Randal, has yet to sign on, but since his acting career has generally been non-existant without Smith, we think he'll come around.

Let's hope Smith goes out on a high note. Clerks II is a funny, if not flawed endeavour. And despite his saturated body of work, and barrage of lazy, egotistical spoken-nerd engagements, we have a soft spot (or is it hard on?) for Smith's brand of humour.

We all remember getting righteously stoned and watching this for the first time:

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Korea, you're making it really hard for us to be culturally sensitive.

God knows that we love Psy and "Gangnam Style." And God also knows that we once adopted several North Korean toddlers to be interns at the TORO HQ. But this is just weird.

Everyone's hair in the video is beautiful, though.

Related >> Listed: Batman Costume Fails | Bill O'Reilly Does Not Get "Gangnam Style"

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Barring a black hole or a bombing of the Google headquarters, Psy's "Gangnam Style" (below) will likely become the first YouTube video to reach 900 million views tonight. And we don't care if you're sick of the song, your opinion doesn't matter.

Already the most viewed and "liked" video of all-time, there's no telling when Psy's ascent through the Holy Temple of the Internet will lose momentum. As of about 3:42 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (represent!), "Gangnam Style" had over 897,637,251 views and ."

The questions surrounding the song are awesome: "When will it reach one billion views?" "Will YouTube implode when it does?" "Is it the greatest thing to come out of Korea since standardized rain gauges?"

In any case, we're very excited. Tweet TORO when it happens for your chance to not win anything but become a lifetime friend of Canada's premiere online men's magazine!

Related >> The Best Music Videos of 2012 | Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Get Gangnam Style

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Tomorrow evening, Rose and Sons — the new Annex restaurant from former Drake Hotel chef Anthony Rose — will run its first dinner service, featuring sophisticated comfort food and a stable of delicious wines and cocktails. 

Highlights of the menu include: Liver and Onions with cherry jam toast; Pork Fried Rice with egg, ginger, and peanuts; Smoked Whitefish and Cured Steelhead with hard-cooked egg and herb mayo.

Since opening in November, Rose and Sons has been a hit with the breakfast and lunch crowd. It's the first of three restaurants Rose wants to have runniing within the next two years.

A self-professed Jewish "mommy's boy," Rose makes deliciously diverse "no bullshit" food, the kind of fare that made him popular at the Drake. "Sure, [Rose and Sons is moving in the] diner direction but it’s really just an extension of what I was doing [before]," he recently told NOW, "those kind of rustic flavours.

In the spring, Rose will unleash the back patio, equipped with a wood over and charcoal grill.

Rose and Sons is one of many new institutions that now call Dupont Street home. The once banal, however charming, thruway is gradually becoming a culinary destination, and drawing food lovers away from the downtown core. Expect Rose and Sons to be a staple of the neighbourhood.

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What started as a joke has materialized into the grossest Christmas gift since your Mom gave you flavoured condoms. Pizza Hut Canada has produced a pizza-flavoured perfume after thousands of their "friends" told them to do it on Facebook. Pizza Hut: would you put smegma on your pizzas if your friends told you to do that too?

Pizza Hut posted a fake picture of a pizza-perfume bottle in August and was "liked" immediately.

And now, 100 hundred lucky degenerates have won the right to smell like somebody's divorced uncle with fans of the obesity temple clamouring for more.

Allegedly, the perfume smells like "fresh dough with a bit of spice," but if you've ever eaten at Pizza Hut, that means it smells like molten grease with a bit of acne.

We'll stick with our booze this Christmas, thank you very much.

Related >> Find a Signature Scent (That's Not Pizza)

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There are significant perks that come with living next to the United States, namely, having Fleetwood Mac visit us while the rest of the world stews in jealousy.

Yes, Fleetwood Mac has just announced a 2013 tour and the band will stop in Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Saskatoon, Winnipeg, Toronto, and Ottawa (sorry, Montreal, thems the breaks). All of the dates are below, with the Canadian stops in bold.

"It's the perfect time to go back out," Stevie Nicks told Rolling Stone. "2013 is going to be the year of Fleetwood Mac."

What's more is that Nicks claims the band never broke up, and only death will keep them from touring in the future. "It's never going to be a final tour until we drop dead," she told Reuters.

Nicks estimates that 50 percent of the show will be hits, the other half drawing from their extensive catalogue and two new Fleetwood Mac songs.

The tour coincides with the 35th anniversary of the band's album Rumours, the greatest cocaine-inspired creation since Ulysses S. Grant orchestrated Union victory at the Battle of Chattanooga.

But whatever, we're not that excited.


4/04 – Columbus, OH – Nationwide Arena
4/06 – Philadelphia, PA – Wells Fargo Center
4/08 – New York, NY – Madison Square Garden
4/09 – Washington, DC – Verizon Center
4/11 – Louisville, KY. – KFC Yum! Center
4/13 – Chicago, IL – United Center
4/16 – Toronto, ONT – The Air Canada Centre
4/18 – Boston, MA – TD Garden
4/20 – Uncasville, CT – Mohegan Sun Arena
4/23 – Ottawa, ONT – Scotiabank Place
4/24 – Newark, NJ – Prudential Center
4/26 – Pittsburgh, PA – Consol Energy Center
4/28 – St. Paul, MN – Xcel Center
4/30 – Kansas City, MO – Sprint Center
5/1 – Tulsa, OK – BOK Center
5/3 – Little Rock, AR – Verizon Arena
5/12 – Winnipeg, MB – MTS Centre
5/14 – Saskatoon, SK – Credit Union Centre
5/15 – Edmonton, AB – Rexall Place
5/17 – Calgary, AB – Scotiabank Saddledome
5/19 – Vancouver, BC – Rogers Arena
5/20 – Tacoma, WA – Tacoma Dome
5/22 – San Jose, CA – HP Pavilion at San Jose
5/25 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
5/26 – Las Vegas, NV – MGM Grand Arena
5/28 – Anaheim, CA – Honda Center
5/30 – Phoenix, AZ – US Airways Center
6/1 – Denver, CO – Pepsi Center
6/4 – Dallas, TX – American Airlines Center
6/5 – Houston, TX – Toyota Center
6/7 – Tampa, FL – Tampa Bay Times Forum
6/8 – Ft. Lauderdale, FL – BB&T Center
6/10 – Atlanta, GA – Phillips Arena
6/12 – Detroit, MI – Joe Louis Arena

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Apparently A$AP Rocky likes to "fuck." Not that we don't like to "fuck" too, but if you're tired of hearing about the Harlem rapper's boning techniques, then leave now and visit our Holiday Gift Guide!

Still here? Then you'll be happy to know that Lana Del Ray's part-time squeeze has just released a new video (below) and announced the release date of his new album. The video is "Fuckin' Problems," featuring Drake, 2 Chainz, and Kendrick Lamar. The album is LongLiveA$AP, set to drop January 15.

Enjoy the song in the meantime.

Related >> Lana Del Ray and A$AP Rocky Take on Camelot

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