SATURDAY MAY 27, 2017
 
INSIDE TORO
Blog DAILY TORO
kesha-moms-day-2011.jpg

Queen of class Ke$ha (sorry, Chicago Style Guide) claims her song "Gold Trans Am" is about her vagina — and she wrote it with her mom. Cute.

''It began as a song about my car...and it works about 40 per cent of the time," said Ke$ha in an interview. "But then, like all great pop it became a metaphor for something else: my pussy."

She has a point: Most pop music fans don't even know that John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" is actually a reference to a sex act involving freshly-churned butter and bighorn sheep.

Despite the decrepit state of her car, Ke$ha assures anyone who wants to bone her (Oh, God) that her "vagina is in tip top working order — valeted and souped-up and working 100 per cent of the time.''

As for collborating with her mother on songs about guys getting inside her and going for rides, Ke$ha had this to say: "Don't analyse. That's the problem with so much culture out there."

So remember kids, the next time your parents decide to write an erotic novel based on your sex life, don't be a prude and just go with it.

Related >> Daily TORO: Watch Ke$ha's Baffling New Video | Music: TORO Reviews Ke$ha's Warrior

Blog DAILY TORO
corrado.jpg

As is ever so in West Queen West, the Drake Hotel just keeps on keeping on. Toronto's original boutique giant has just announced the hiring of Corporate Executive Ched Ted Corrado, formerly of Rain and the Royal Ontario Museum's c5 Restaurant and Lounge.

Corrado will oversee menu research and development at the Drake and also help shape the menu at the Drake Devonshire Inn, the chain's new hipster country retreat in Wellington.

"I’m very excited to join a team and company whose philosophies so closely mirror my own," Corrado said in a statement. "I'm hoping to bring my interests in slow food, traditional cooking techniques, and artisanal cuisine to an already talented team."

No doubt Corrado will continue to push what's made the Drake's menu famous: high-quality comfort made with local ingredients, sold at fair prices, with a respect for multiculturalism. How Torontonian.

In joining the Drake, Corrago enters a Toronto culinary canon that includes Bourdain drinking buddy Chef Anthony Rose (Rose and Sons), and Chef David Chrystian (Victor Restaurant and Lounge). 

Related >> Travel: Canada's Top 10 Hipster Hotels | TORO TV: Rose and Sons' Sexy Bread Pudding (with Bacon)

Blog DAILY TORO
13986692-md.jpg

The first rule of Bridesmaids Fight Club: You do not talk about Bridesmaids Fight Club.

According to Global News, a bride-to-be is in hospital after getting caught up in a Vancouver nightclub brawl, which included bar staff.

Alysha Thompson, 29, was partying with her girls in Yaletown's Bar None when everything went to hell. After being asked to leave the bar, police say Thompson and her female friends got into a fight with another group of women. 

On her Facebook page, Thompson claims that the violence erupted when a waitress attacked her, unprovoked.

"She grabbed me from behind and threw me across a table and brutally attacked me, leaving me with a concussion, cuts and bruises all over my body," Thompson said.

Charges have not been laid, and police are waiting for the second group of women to come forward.

Related >> Daily TORO: Pho Fight in Toronto Encites Plate to the Face

Blog DAILY TORO
Ikea-Meatballs-1730376.jpg

According to the something called the Associated Press, the Czech State Veterinary Administrition claims it has found horse DNA in a package of IKEA's frozen meatballs labelled as beef and pork. They did not say how much horse was in the meatballs, for those of you watching your figure.

IKEA acknowledges that meatballs from the same batch had also been sent to 21 other European countries. All meatball products sold in these countries have been pulled off the shelves.

Allegedly, Canadian and American supplies were not affected, but TORO can confirm that the meatballs still taste like shit.

IKEA plans to analyze the Czech data and conduct its own investigation before making any brash meatball-related policy changes.

There's no word on whether the meat was planted by a rogue, but police are considering this chef a person of interest.

Related >> Travel: Eating Horse at Montreal's Joe Beef | Daily TORO: Chefs Serve Whale Meat, Face 67 Years in Jail

Blog DAILY TORO
the-national.jpg

North by Northeast (NXNE) has just announced that Brooklyn band The National will headline a free show on June 14 at Toronto's Yonge-Dundas Square.

Other acts scheduled to play the music and arts festival include Flag, Millencollin, Calexico, Joey Bada$$, Buke and Gase, and Genetic Control.

NXNE is a weeklong festival in downtown Toronto focusing on music, film, comedy, and panel discussions.

NXNE13 will take place June 10 to 16. The complete festival lineup will be announced in the coming days. Tickets will be available February 28 here.

Related >> Music: TORO's Complete Coverage of NXNE12 | Broken Social Scene and Feist to Reunite for the Field Trip Music and Arts Festival

Blog DAILY TORO
nazie2.jpg

The Onion has either gone too far or not far enough depending on how demented your sense of humour is.

Last night, shortly after the Oscars wrapped, the fake news network tweeted: "Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a cunt, right?"

After pretty much everyone with a soul lashed out at the publication, The Onion released a formal apology this morning on its Facebook page.

"On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences," wrote CEO Steve Hannah. "[The tweet] was crude and offensive — not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting."

Hannah goes on to claim that those responsible for the tweet are being disciplined, and that "tighter" Twitter procedures are being implemented.

We're not sure what's more shocking: that The Onion attacked a cute little girl or that it actually took something seriously.

Related >> The Onion Gets Its Own Version of Ted Talks

Blog DAILY TORO
Unknown034507.jpeg.jpeg--525x415.jpg

Last year during the Oscars, Jimmy Kimmel debuted a trailer for "the greatest motion picture ever not made," Movie: The Movie. It was hilarious.

Last night, Kimmel revisited the trailer. "When you have a big success in Hollywood," said Kimmel, "there's only one thing you can do, and that is cheapen it with a sequel."

And with that, Kimmel debuted the trailer for Movie: The Movie: 2V (below).

Despite not being sexist, racist, or a Teddy Bear, like Seth MacFarlane, Kimmel convinced Rachel Weisz, Armie Hammer, Topher Grace, Jessica Chastain, Jude Law, Gerard Butler, Bryan Cranston, John Krasinski, Oprah Winfrey, Bradley Cooper, Kerry Washington, Jason Schwartzman, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Bruno Mars, Amanda Seyfried, Channing Tatum, Samuel L. Jackson, Wolf Blitzer, and — yes — even arch nemesis Matt Damon to be in his short film.

Perhaps the Academy should get Kimmel to host the Oscars next year. He has a certain ease about him, and despite his knack for destroying egos, Kimmel's boyish charm does well with celebrities.

Related >> Daily TORO: Jimmy Kimmel Ruins Kids' First Day of School | Seth MacFarlane to Host the Oscars (Oh God)

Blog DAILY TORO
movies-hugh-jackman-anne-hathaway-oscars-2009.jpg

Today, the producers of the Oscars broadcast finally released the show's complete list of performers and presenters, and it's longer than Jodie Foster's speech about gay people. You can check it out below.

The show will feature a "Celebration of Movie Musicals" with Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls) and Catherine Zeta-Jones (Chicago) performing. The principal cast of Les Miserables will also be there singing God knows what.

Canadian legend Christopher Plummer, who last year became the oldest person ever to win an Oscar for his performance in Beginners, is among the presenters. Ted, the animated teddy bear from — no — Ted will also present, because host Seth MacFarlane is a well-oiled, self-promoting tool.

Related >> Daily TORO: We Review the Best Picture Nominess | Daily TORO: A Video Tribute to Every Best Picture

Performers:
Jennifer Hudson
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Hugh Jackman
Anne Hathaway
Russell Crowe
Amanda Seyfried
Eddie Redmayne
Aaron Tveit
Samantha Barks
Helena Bonham Carter
Adele
Shirley Bassey
Norah Jones
Barbra Streisand 
Seth MacFarlane
Kristin Chenoweth 

Presenters:
Ben Affleck
Jennifer Aniston
Halle Berry
Sandra Bullock
Jessica Chastain
Michael Douglas
Robert Downey Jr.
Jean Dujardin
Chris Evans
Jane Fonda
Jamie Foxx
Jennifer Garner
Richard Gere
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (billed as a "special appearance")
Salma Hayek
Dustin Hoffman
Samuel L. Jackson
Norah Jones
Nicole Kidman
Queen Latifah
Jennifer Lawrence
Melissa McCarthy
Liam Neeson
Jack Nicholson
Christopher Plummer
Daniel Radcliffe (billed as a "special appearance")
Jeremy Renner
Paul Rudd
Mark Ruffalo
Octavia Spencer
Meryl Streep
Kristen Stewart
Channing Tatum (billed as a "special appearance")
Ted
Charlize Theron (billed as a "special appearance")
John Travolta
Mark Wahlberg
Kerry Washington
Reese Witherspoon
Renée Zellweger

Blog DAILY TORO
MeghanFox4.jpg

Megan Fox (above, grinding blanket) will star in the new movie remake/reboot/rebarf of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Producer Michael Bay (Transformers, Meat Loaf: Bat Out of Hell II) made the announcement today on his official website: "TMNT: we are bringing Megan Fox back into the family!"

Fox left "the family" in 2010 when she claimed Bay was "a nightmare to work for" and compared him to Hitler. The Fuhrer Bay subsequently wrote Fox out of the third Transformers movie, and replaced her with a more subservient hot girl who also couldn't act.

There's no word yet on who will play the turtles, but sources close to TORO say it's this kid.

Scheduled for a May 14, 2014 release, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will be hybrid between live-action, CGI, and that cheese that collects in your nether-regions after not bathing for a few days.

Related >> Megan Fox Bares All | Daily TORO: Is Dame Helen Mirren Sexier than Megan Fox?

Blog DAILY TORO
wholesite.com-FOOD_Centro_BeetSalad.jpg

According to various sources, Toronto restaurants Colborne Lane and Centro will soon close.

"I feel that I’ve said everything I’ve had to say with this restaurant," Colborne Lane chef and owner Claudio Aprile told Post City. "It’s time for me to focus on different projects. It just feels right."

The restaurants last service is this Saturday.

Aprile will soon open Origin North in Bayview Village in May, and Trillium at Pearson Airport. He's already busy attenting to Origin Liberty in Liberty Village.

And according to co-owner Armando Mano, Centro will close and reopen as an entirely new Italian restaurant with new staff and lower prices. Expect this restaurant to debut in April.

TORO wishes Aprile and Mano and their respective staffs the best of luck in their future endeavours.

Related >> TORO TV: Centro's Provimi Veal Tenderloin | TORO TV: Centro's Beet Salad

Blog DAILY TORO
Amour-2.jpg

Throughout 2012, TORO had the privilege of reviewing (almost) all of the nine films nominated for Best Picture at this Sunday's Academy Awards. (Somehow, Les Miserables wasn't reviewed, but you can take comfort in knowing that it was at best — at least according to Daily TORO — average.)

Below we present a round-up of our Best Picture reviews. But who will win?

Having taken top prizes at the Critics’ Choice Awards, Golden Globes, Producers Guild, Screen Actors Guild, Directors Guild, and the BAFTAs, Ben Affleck's thriller Argo is the favourite. However, as the Toronto Star's Peter Howell points out, a Sunday night victory would make Argo only the fourth film in 85 years to win Best Picture without an accompanying nomination for its director.

Our dark horse for for the big award is Michael Haneke's Amour. Foreign films are rarely nominated for Best Picture, but remember, Haneke's old-age drama won this year's Palme d'Or at Cannes. Amour is also nominated for Directing (Haneke), Actress in a Leading Role (Emmanuelle Riva), Original Screenplay (Haneke), and Foreign Language Film.

Since the Academy is made up of mostly old white dudes, and have picked racist tripe like Driving Miss Daisy for Best Picture, picking winners is a veritable crap shoot. But we wish all of the nominees luck.

Related >> Daily TORO: A Video Tribute to Every Best Picture | In Pictures: Canadian Oscar Winners

TORO's Best Picture Reviews

Michael Haneke's Amour (5/5)
"In confronting tragedy head-on, Haneke shows that he is a master of sentiment, bravely creating one of the most honest depictions of old age ever put on screen."

Ben Affleck's Argo (4.5/5)
"Argo is first-class Hollywood filmmaking."

Benh Zeitlin's Beasts of the Southern Wild (4.5/5)
"It’s hard to ignore the wonderful internal sense of life that Beasts pumps into nearly every scene."

Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained (3.5/5)
"DiCaprio’s part...is played with bravery and gusto [and] Foxx and Waltz make a terrific team."

Ang Lee's Life of Pi (3.5/5)
"Lee’s use of 3D sets a new standard for the format [proving] it can help us see our own world anew."

Steven Spielberg's Lincoln (3/5)
"[Daniel Day-Lewis] creates fresh insight into a president who long ago became more legend than man."

David O. Russell's Silver Linings Playbook (4/5)
"The movie’s great inspiration is to make Pat — in his nature a violent, socially inept man — a sympathetic figure."

Kathryn Bigelow's Zero Dark Thirty (5/5)
"How rare it is to see a great movie that argues for nationalism and the suspension of military ethics, that builds its case carefully, and thoughtfully. Rare and unsettling."

Blog DAILY TORO
130114-jt-jay-z_0.jpg

Jay-Z has confirmed via his Life and Times website that he and Justin Timberlake will tour this summer.

Entitled "Legends of Summer," the tour will see HOV and J.T. visit 12 stadiums across North America, including Toronto's Rogers Centre on July 17, and Vancouver's BC Place on July 31

A handful of dates have yet to be confirmed, but Bar Stool Sports suggests the duo will play Boston's Fenway Park either August 10 or 11.

Tickets go on sale February 28, and you can RSVP for early access to the pre-sale on the tour's Facebook page.

Related >> Music: TORO Reviews Watch the Throne | Daily TORO: Justin Timberlake and Beyonce Announce New Albums

Jay-Z Justin Timberlake confirmed tour dates:

Toronto, Ontario - Rogers Centre, July 17
New York, NY - Yankee Stadium, July 19
Chicago, IL - Soldier Field, July 22
San Francisco, CA - Candlestick Park, July 26
Pasadena, CA - The Rose Bowl, July 28
Vancouver, British Columbia - BC Place, July 31

Hershey, PA - Hershey Park Stadium, August 4
Baltimore, MD - M&T Bank Stadium, August 8

Unconfirmed:

Philadelphia, PA - Citizens Bank Park
Detroit, MI - Ford Field
Miami, FL - Sun Life Stadium
Boston, MA - Fenway Park

Blog DAILY TORO
120424-patrick-watson.jpg

Montreal songsmith Patrick Watson has just released the video for "Blackwind" off his 2012 album, Adventures In Your Own Backyard. You can watch it below.

Directed by Chloe Poirier-Sauve, the video was selected from a competition run by creative group Genaro. "It struck us as more than a music video," said Watson in a statement. "it stands on its own as a work of art."

The video mixes animation with sand art and perfectly compliments the song's dreamy tone.

Watson is also set to go on a European and North American tour that will culminate with his playing of the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival in Manchester, Tennessee.

Dates for the tour are below, with Canadian stops in bold.

Related >> TORO TV: A Conversation with Patrick Watson | Bonnaroo Anounces its Lineup

Patrick Watson tour dates:

Thu. Feb. 28 - Utrecht, NE at Vrendenburg
Fri. March 1 - Eindhoven, NE at Muziekgebouw Frits Philips Eindhoven
Sat. March 2 - Amsterdam, NE at Paradiso
Sun. March 3 - Rotterdam, NE at De Doelen
Mon. March 4 - Groningen, NE at Oosterpoort
Thu. March 7 - Lisbon, PT at Teatro Tivoli
Fri. March 8 - Santa Maria Da Feira, PT at Cine-Teatro Antonio Lamoso
Sun. March 10 - Barcelona, ES at Luz de Gas
Mon. March 11 - Madrid, ES at Sala Arena
Thu. March 28 - Cambridge, MA at The Sinclair
Sat. March 30 - Magog, QC at Vieux-Clocher de Magog
Sun. March 31 - Ste-Therese, QC at Theatre Lionel-Grouix
Tue. April 2 - Terrebonne, QC at Theatre de Vieux-Terrebonne
Wed. April 3 - L'assomption, QC at Theatre Hector Charland
Fri. April 5 - Baie-St-Paul, QC at La Ferme
Sat. April 6 - Saguenay, QC at Theatre Palace Arvida
Thu. June 13-Sun. June 16 - Manchester, TN at Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival

Blog DAILY TORO
620-burke-podium-thumb-620xauto-260573.jpg

The Anaheim Ducks have hired former Toronto Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke as a part-time scout.

"We are happy to welcome Brian back to the organization," said Ducks general manager Bob Murray in a statement. We’ve had success working together before and look forward to doing it again.”

The success he is of course referring to is the 2007 Stanley Cup Anaheim won when Burke had Murray's job.

The Maple Leafs fired Burke on January 9, only a few days before what would have been his fifth season as Toronto's top executive. The club replaced Burke with his protege Dave Nonis.

MLSE president Tom Anselmi approved Burke's departure and wishes him well. "We both agreed that taking this role with Anaheim would best position Brian for his next general manager opportunity in the league," Anselmi said in a statement.

While Burke thoroughly redesigned the Maple Leafs during his time Toronto, the team failed to make the playoffs four years in a row and have yet to acquire any star prospects.

Related >> Daily TORO: Blame Bell Brass for Burke's Ouster | Throwin Smoke: Carlyle Can't Fix the Leafs

Blog DAILY TORO
celeb-finger-benaffleck.jpg

Today, Ben Affleck is an award-winning actor, writer, and director. In 1993, he was a tortured young artist who made awful movies about misogynist filmmakers who scream a lot and torture their wives.

Witness below Affleck’s directorial debut, I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her On a Meathook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney.

Jennifer Garner: run while you still have your legs.

The movie follows a homicidal director who is casting a female lead in his film.

Affleck had this to say about the movie in an Entertainment Weekly interview: “It’s horrible. It’s atrocious. I knew I wanted to be a director, and I did a couple of short films, and this is the only one that haunts me. I’m not proud of it. It looks like it was made by someone who has no prospects, no promise.”

Yea, that’s about right.

Related >> Film: TORO Reviews Argo

Blog DAILY TORO
how-social-tv-is-taking-over-the-oscars-and-how-you-can-win-contest--d89ea1cd84.jpg

This Sunday, one of nine films will be crowned Best Picture by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, joining an exclusive of club of of 84 (mostly great) films.

To honour those movies, the Academy has just released a video tribute. You can watch it below.

Watching the montage makes you realize that even when the Oscars get it wrong, cinema is a powerful medium.

The nine films nominated for Best Picture this year are Michael Haneke's Amour, Ben Affleck's Argo, Benh Zeitlin's Beasts of the Southern Wild, Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained, Tom Hooper's Les Miserables, Ang Lee's Life of Pi, Steven Spielberg's Lincoln, David O. Russell's Silver Linings Playbook, and Kathryn Bigelow's Zero Dark Thirty.

While there were a few snubs, all of the above films are exceptional. Good luck to the nominees.

Related >> Daily TORO: Canada's War Witch Nominated for an Oscar | In Pictures: Canadian OScar Winners

Blog DAILY TORO
JenMann-brick.jpg

Toronto painter Jen Mann loves working within the idea of beauty and wonder. It’s a preoccupation that recalls art’s classical, ethereal function of illumination, and one often forgotten in the erratic hodge-podge of the contemporary art world.

Related >> In Pictures: Gentlemen Prefer at Neubacher Shor Contemporary

"Art is amazing because it becomes something entirely different from one viewer to the next," Mann says.

A graduate of OCAD University, her exhibition Strange Beauties at Neubacher Shor Contemporary evokes a self-described "naïve and unfiltered sense of beauty akin to that experienced in childhood."

Strange Beauties is a series of portraits, mostly of Mann’s family and friends. The paintings’ photorealism makes the experience of viewing the art deeply personal. And Mann’s delicate application of the saturated colours creates a sense of motion as if lifted from a pleasant dream.

Mann uses photographs as reference for each of her paintings. "With a photo you can capture a moment you didn't necessarily plan,” she says. “And that can be magical."

Creating Strange Beauties was a huge endeavor — photo shoots, photo editing, and long, lonely painting sessions were all part of Mann’s process. 

"When I finally got to painting, it was 12-hour days. I would forget to eat if no one brought me food."

Such is the life of an artist trying to break into Toronto’s supportive yet highly competitive art community. Still, like her art, Mann maintains an attitude of idealism and sweetness.  

"I think Toronto's art scene is tight knit and friendly on the whole," says Mann. "As long as you've had a couple drinks."

Jen Mann's Strange Beauties is on display at Neubacher Shor Contemporary (5 Brock Avenue, Toronto) February 20 to March 23.

twoface.jpg

backwards.jpgbubblegum.jpg

Blog DAILY TORO
Raptors-Draft-Party-013.jpg

According to the infallible news feed known as Twitter, Toronto play-by-play man Matt Devlin pissed off Wale (pronounced Wah-lay, not WALL-E) for not knowing who the rapper was. Don't worry Matt, we had never heard of him either.

Last night, during the Raptors-Wizards game in Washington, the broadcast crew decided to focus on a chirping match between Wale and Toronto forward Rudy Gay. Confused, Devlin announced: "I'm sure somebody on Twitter can tell me if they've ever heard of Wale. He's not Drake, that's for sure."

Snap.

Toronto's boy-prince Drake is of course, a big Raptors fan and pretty much the most famous rapper in the world right now.

Angered by the truth, Wale confronted Devlin on air. Allegedly, fans nearby heard Wale yelling "I heard what you said; that’s not cool!" Well, evidently neither is your music.

The altercation ended with good spirits and handshakes after Wale took his PR meds. "Shoutout to T dot" he later said on Twitter.

You're still not Drake Wale.

Related >>  Raptors' Mid-Season Report Card Not Good

Blog DAILY TORO
lost-in-translation-2003-24-g.jpg

Hollywood stars used to film embarassing commercials in — mostly Asian — international markets under the assumption that they could make a shitzillion dollars without anyone back home ever seeing the end product. Then the Internet came along and ruined everything.

Case in point: Witness below Leonardo DiCaprio's lame Jim Beam ad in which he says only four words, tying Toronto Raptor Andrea Bargnani's record for endorsement verbosity.

At least Bradd Pitt looked like he was trying in his commercial. (Maybe that's why you've never won an Oscar, Leo.)

The commercial also proves that DiCaprio is still only capable of making two faces: the "Jack Dawson," and the "Squinty Murderer."

Related >> Daily TORO: Watch the Best Super Bowl TV Spots | Film: TORO Reviews Django Unchained

Blog DAILY TORO
bonnaroo-poster-logo_t588_284.jpg

In a "Megathon" event, Weird Al Yankovic has just announced the lineup for this year's Bonnaroo, live via the music festival's YouTube channel. A classic Bonnaroo concert featuring Mumford and Sons is also being streamed live. Watch the shenanigans below.

This year's lineup includes Paul McCartney, R. Kelly, Wilco, A$AP Rocky, the xx, Passion Pit, David Byrne and St. Vincent, Big K.R.I.T., Jim James, Billy Idol, Grizzly Bear, Foals, Amadou & Mariam, Wild Nothing, Killer Mike, Japandroids, Beach House, the Gaslight Anthem, Local Natives, Dirty Projectors, the National, Holy Ghost!, Death Grips, Purity Ring, Cat Power, Wu-Tang Clan, Björk, and more.

Bonnaroo takes place June 13 to 16 in Manchester, Tennessee.

Related >> Daily TORO: Phoenix, Blur, Stone Roses Headline Coachella | Daily TORO: Sasquatch! Music Festival Announces Lineup


TORO FEATURED VIDEO